The way they cope with this fear, however, is slightly different.
Type 4s cope with this fear by trying to be unique, while type 3s believe that they can gain other people’s love and admiration through their achievements and appealing physical appearance.
Because 4w3s combine characteristics of both types but are still predominantly Fours, they are more likely to rely on their physical attractiveness and style.
Fours with a Three-Wing want others to see them as
4w3s are the aristocrats of the Enneagram.
The Three-Wing gives them the courage to put themselves out there, to expose themselves to the world — something that isn’t easy for the core type 4.
Fours with a Three-Wing are more likely to act; they take more risks and are less self-absorbed.
They are also better at marketing their work, which makes it more likely that others will see it and appreciate it.
Generally, Fours aren’t very action-oriented people, but those with a stronger Three-Wing feel the need to be productive.
Moreover, 4w3s have better social skills than their 4w5 counterparts. They are empathetic, sensitive, and courteous.
They can predict other people’s reactions, and this allows them to produce work with an audience in mind. As a result, 4w3s are more likely to be accomplished, and their work is more likely to be recognized and appreciated by others.
Because of the 4w3 ability to mirror the tastes of their audience, they tend to do well financially. However, they are also spenders who enjoy a luxurious lifestyle. This quality differentiates 4w3s from 4w5s who can be quite frugal.
One of the biggest challenges for 4w3s is that they can’t function under stress. Unlike core type 3, Fours can’t work or focus properly when upset. This may sometimes hinder their performance.
4w3s are still Fours and may have the typical issues of type 4:
- they are extremely sensitive to criticism
- they are worried about exposing themselves
- they are concerned that others will judge them and their work
- they are very emotional and vulnerable
- they may have self-esteem issues
- they may be envious
These negative characteristics are more evident in unhealthy 4w3s. Healthy 4w3s are self-contented, inspired, warm, and self-accepting.
Questions to ponder:
- How often do you compare yourself to others, and how does it undermine your happiness?
- How does this comparison affect your self-esteem?
- Do your friends and family feel appreciated by you?
- Do you hold onto resentment?
- What do you deny yourself by continuing to blame others?
- Is it really that bad to be more like other people?
- Do you tend to exaggerate?
- Do you always worry about how others perceive you?
- Do you place too much importance on other people’s approval and recognition?
To sum up, 4w3s are