Abandonment issues refer to feelings of fear, insecurity, and anxiety related to being abandoned or rejected by someone we care about. These feelings can be triggered by a variety of experiences, such as the loss of a loved one, the ending of a romantic relationship, or even perceived instances of abandonment or rejection. Abandonment issues can range from mild to severe, and the intensity of these feelings can vary from person to person.
The quiz below consists of 34 statements; each statement may be a sign of abandonment issues. While it’s by no means a diagnostic tool, reading through these statements can be helpful. As always, seek professional advice if you experience any discomfort, regardless of the results of this test.
I worry about being abandoned or rejected by others.
Often
Sometimes
Never
I feel anxious or insecure in my relationships.
Often
Sometimes
Never
I am afraid I won’t be able to keep my relationship going.
Often
Sometimes
Never
I keep in contact with people to make sure they are still around.
Often
Sometimes
Never
I find it difficult to let others get close to me.
Often
Sometimes
Never
I make sure to always be there for others because otherwise, they might leave me.
Agree
Agree partially
Disagree
I feel that my relationships aren’t secure.
Often
Sometimes
Never
I can’t believe that someone will stay with me for good.
Often
Sometimes
Never
I feel anxious when someone becomes distant and unavailable.
Agree
Agree partially
Disagree
I feel abandoned and rejected when someone doesn’t make any effort to connect with me emotionally.
Agree
Agree partially
Disagree
The idea of being alone makes me very uncomfortable.
Agree
Agree partially
Disagree
I seek out new relationships immediately after a breakup.
Agree
Agree partially
Disagree
I feel I am left behind.
Often
Sometimes
Never
I cannot relax and allow myself to depend on others.
Agree
Agree partially
Disagree
I get more upset than I should when someone cancels plans with me.
Often
Sometimes
Never
I guess I am a little love-hungry, and I want a lot of affection.
Agree
Agree partially
Disagree
I am terrified that people are going to leave me.
Often
Sometimes
Never
I feel that relationships can be easily broken.
Agree
Agree partially
Disagree
I feel abandoned when my friends or colleagues don’t include me in their plans.
Agree
Agree partially
Disagree
I want to have someone by my side at all times.
Agree
Agree partially
Disagree
I don’t express myself freely because I am afraid that people will leave me if they know the real me.
Often
Sometimes
Never
I want others to satisfy my emotional needs.
Often
Sometimes
Never
I walk on eggshells in my relationships to ensure that they don’t end.
Often
Sometimes
Never
I feel like I need to work extra hard to make sure people won’t leave me.
Agree
Agree partially
Disagree
I ruminate whenever someone doesn’t answer my texts or return my calls.
Often
Sometimes
Never
Perhaps I still haven’t moved on from my past disappointments.
Agree
Agree partially
Disagree
I don’t trust others easily.
Often
Sometimes
Never
I feel like I can’t let go of my bad relationships due to the fear of being alone.
Agree
Agree partially
Disagree
I feel that I will be completely alone if someone leaves me.
Agree
Agree partially
Disagree
Frankly, I want attention, and I feel rejected whenever I don’t get it.
Often
Sometimes
Never
I feel abandoned when someone doesn’t make me their priority.
Often
Sometimes
Never
I feel like I need to make myself available at all times to make sure that people don’t leave me.
Agree
Agree partially
Disagree
I am afraid to make a mistake that may cause others to abandon me.
Often
Sometimes
Never
I put too much pressure on myself to keep everyone by my side.
Agree
Agree partially
Disagree
Your result will appear here.
0-17:
Scoring in this range may mean that you don’t have any abandonment issues or have only mild abandonment issues that manifest only occasionally. You may avoid situations where rejection is a possibility or feel a little anxious and insecure at times. While unpleasant, these feelings do not significantly interfere with your daily life.
18-42:
Scoring in this range may indicate that you experience more intense feelings of anxiety and insecurity related to abandonment. You may become very concerned about being left alone and may ask for frequent reassurance and attention. Alternatively, you may avoid close relationships altogether due to the fear of abandonment, pushing others away before they can reject you.
43-68:
At this level, all negative feelings related to abandonment are amplified. Severe anxiety and preoccupation with either becoming close to or pushing away others can significantly interfere with daily life and relationships. Depression may also make things worse. While this quiz is not a diagnostic tool, if you scored this high, you likely feel very uncomfortable. If you have any doubts, it is recommended that you speak with a counselor or therapist for a proper evaluation.
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