Abandonment issues involve feelings of fear, insecurity, or anxiety about being rejected or left by someone you care about. These feelings can be connected with different experiences, such as losing someone important, going through a breakup, or feeling rejected.
The quiz below contains 34 statements that may reflect fear of abandonment, insecurity, or difficulty trusting relationships. It isn’t a diagnostic test, but it may help you notice some patterns in the way you think and behave in relationships.
1. I worry about being abandoned or rejected by others.
Often
Sometimes
Never
2. I feel anxious or insecure in my relationships.
Often
Sometimes
Never
3. I worry that I won’t be able to make my relationship last.
Often
Sometimes
Never
4. I keep in touch with people to make sure they’re still there.
Often
Sometimes
Never
5. I find it difficult to let others get close to me.
Often
Sometimes
Never
6. I make sure I’m always there for other people because I’m afraid they might leave me otherwise.
Agree
Somewhat agree
Disagree
7. I feel that my relationships aren’t secure.
Often
Sometimes
Never
8. I find it hard to believe that someone will stay with me for good.
Often
Sometimes
Never
9. I feel anxious when someone becomes distant or unavailable.
Agree
Somewhat agree
Disagree
10. I feel abandoned or rejected when someone makes little effort to connect with me emotionally.
Agree
Somewhat agree
Disagree
11. The idea of being alone makes me very uncomfortable.
Agree
Somewhat agree
Disagree
12. I seek out new relationships immediately after a breakup.
Agree
Somewhat agree
Disagree
13. I feel left behind.
Often
Sometimes
Never
14. I find it hard to relax and depend on other people.
Agree
Somewhat agree
Disagree
15. I get more upset than I should when someone cancels plans with me.
Often
Sometimes
Never
16. I want a lot of affection and sometimes feel starved for it.
Agree
Somewhat agree
Disagree
17. I am terrified that people are going to leave me.
Often
Sometimes
Never
18. I feel that relationships can fall apart very easily.
Agree
Somewhat agree
Disagree
19. I feel abandoned when my friends or colleagues don’t include me in their plans.
Agree
Somewhat agree
Disagree
20. I want to have someone by my side at all times.
Agree
Somewhat agree
Disagree
21. I don’t express myself freely because I’m afraid people will leave me if they know the real me.
Often
Sometimes
Never
22. I want other people to satisfy my emotional needs.
Often
Sometimes
Never
23. I walk on eggshells in my relationships because I’m afraid they might end.
Often
Sometimes
Never
24. I feel like I need to work extra hard to make sure people won’t leave me.
Agree
Somewhat agree
Disagree
25. When someone doesn’t answer my texts or return my calls, I keep thinking about it.
Often
Sometimes
Never
26. I don’t think I’ve fully moved on from some past disappointments.
Agree
Somewhat agree
Disagree
27. I don’t trust others easily.
Often
Sometimes
Never
28. I find it hard to leave unhealthy relationships because I’m afraid of being alone.
Agree
Somewhat agree
Disagree
29. I feel that I will be completely alone if someone leaves me.
Agree
Somewhat agree
Disagree
30. I want a lot of attention and feel rejected when I don’t get it.
Often
Sometimes
Never
31. I feel abandoned when someone doesn’t make me their priority.
Often
Sometimes
Never
32. I feel like I have to make myself available all the time so people won’t leave me.
Agree
Somewhat agree
Disagree
33. I’m afraid of making a mistake that could cause someone to leave me.
Often
Sometimes
Never
34. I put too much pressure on myself to keep people close to me.
Agree
Somewhat agree
Disagree
Your result will appear here.
Abandonment Issues Quiz Results
0–17: Few or Mild Signs of Abandonment Issues
Scoring in this range suggests that you have few signs of abandonment issues, or that these feelings only come up occasionally. You may sometimes worry about rejection, feel insecure, or avoid situations where rejection is possible, but these concerns don’t seem to dominate your relationships.
Look at the individual statements you scored highly on. Even with a low overall score, they may point to particular situations where distance, rejection, or uncertainty is harder for you.
18–42: Moderate Signs of Abandonment Issues
Scoring in this range suggests that fear of abandonment may affect you more regularly. You may worry about people leaving, feel uneasy when someone becomes distant, need extra reassurance, or find it difficult to trust that your relationships are secure.
For some people, fear of abandonment leads to holding on more tightly. For others, it does the opposite: they keep their distance or push people away before they have a chance to reject them.
Look back at the statements you answered Often or Agree to. They can give you a better idea of how fear of abandonment tends to show up in your own relationships.
43–68: Strong Signs of Abandonment Issues
Scoring in this range means that you agreed with many of the abandonment-related statements in this quiz. Fear of rejection, being left alone, or losing an important relationship may take up quite a bit of emotional space for you.
You may find yourself holding on very tightly to some relationships, worrying when people become distant, seeking reassurance, or sometimes protecting yourself by pulling away first.
If these fears cause you a lot of distress or repeatedly create problems in your relationships, talking them through with a therapist or counselor may help you understand where they come from and how to deal with them differently.
This quiz is an informal self-assessment and is not a diagnostic test.
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