Am I Being Gaslighted Quiz

Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic used to make you question your own perception of reality. In abusive or narcissistic relationships, the other person may try to convince you that your reaction to their behavior is the real problem. They may insist that it is all in your head, even though you continue feeling hurt, confused, and emotionally drained.

Over time, this can make you question your memory, judgment, and even your sanity. There are many ways this can happen. The test below lists some common gaslighting and manipulative behaviors. It is somewhat lengthy because we tried to cover as many situations as possible, but it is unlikely that all of these tactics would be used against you at the same time.

This test is only a tool to help you analyze the situation. It cannot tell you for sure what is happening in your life. If you check any of the statements below, it may be worth discussing your situation with a trained professional who can listen to your specific examples and help you develop a strategy to rebuild your self-confidence and protect yourself.

Please check all that apply:

I am often told that I am overreacting.

I walk on eggshells, afraid of making the other person angry with me.

The other person keeps insisting that the problem is not their behavior, but my reaction to it.

The other person tends to sabotage important events by arguing with me shortly before the event, disrupting my sleep, or pressuring me to spend time with them or do something for them.

I am accused of being too suspicious and imagining things that are not there.

The other person withdraws from me while accusing me of being needy or clingy.

The other person shuts down serious discussions before they even begin.

The other person always has their own version of events, and it is different from mine.

The other person has convinced people in my life that I am the one to blame.

I have begun to doubt my own judgment and perception.

Sometimes I bring up specific times when the other person said or did something hurtful in the past, but they act as if they do not remember it.

The other person does not want me to consult anyone else about our problems and generally wants me to stay isolated.

I have begun to doubt abilities I never questioned before.

I left the relationship in the past, but the other person convinced me that whatever happened was because of something I had done, or because they were drunk, stressed, or simply having a bad day.

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When I try to confront the other person about hurtful things they do to me, they talk so much and twist the conversation so badly that I leave feeling even more confused.

The other person acts as if my feelings are not valid or important.

If I mention another person’s opinion, the other person ridicules both me and that person for being stupid, naïve, or inadequate.

After everything that has happened with this person, I no longer feel confident.

I am constantly blamed for things or made to feel guilty.

I am led to believe that my perception is wrong.

The other person yells at me, abuses me, or otherwise makes me feel terrible while telling me that it is all my fault.

I do not know how I used to function before I met this person. I now feel very insecure.

The other person keeps changing the story to suit their needs.

Some of their jokes feel like insults, but I cannot protest because they will tell me I am crazy or imagining things.

I am often criticized for being too emotional.

Sometimes something really unpleasant happens between us, but I am told it was just a misunderstanding.

Sometimes I find myself apologizing even when I clearly did nothing to hurt the other person. I cannot function or go about my day when they are angry with me.

The other person projects their behavior onto me. For example, they may start yelling and then blame me for yelling, or they may behave negatively and then accuse me of being negative.

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