Oftentimes, manipulation can be difficult to recognize; however, it always has a significant impact on your life and well-being. It is sometimes said that not all manipulation is bad, and some forms of manipulation can be positive, such as a therapist or psychologist trying to change your way of thinking and seeing things in order to live a happier and more productive life. While this is definitely true, this quiz is designed to detect negative forms of manipulation only.
It’s important to remember that not only significant others can be manipulators. Some relatives, friends, sports coaches, or coworkers can also be skilled manipulators.
The quiz below is designed to help analyze your relationship with the potential manipulator, but it cannot tell you anything for sure. If you think you may be being manipulated, ask a professional to evaluate your situation. Finally, you need to answer the questions below with one person in mind at a time. Check all that apply.
Does the other person make you feel like you have to constantly apologize for things that you know aren’t your fault?
Do you feel like you are manipulated into having to seek validation from the manipulator?
Do they force you to compromise your values?
Do they threaten you with consequences if you don’t give in to their demands?
Do they constantly ridicule you or shame you?
Do they manipulate you into feeling sorry for them to make you help them or give them what they want?
Do they constantly take advantage of you?
Do you feel like you are being controlled by the other person?
Does the other person behave in a way that makes you put their needs before your own every time?
Do you feel like you have to hide your true feelings to avoid being ridiculed or punished?
Do you have to hide things from your friends and family to not get into even more trouble?
Do they constantly push you to do things you are not comfortable with?
Do they make you cover up their mistakes?
Do they make you give in to their unreasonable requests time after time again?
Do they threaten you with harming themselves unless you give them what they are asking for?
Do they often deny hurtful things they did, and you know they did it?
Do they push you to take responsibility for things you shouldn’t be responsible for?
Do they often tell you that you misheard or misunderstood something hurtful they said, and you know they said it?
Are they trying to undermine your confidence?
Does their attitude toward you constantly change?
Do you feel like you constantly have to explain yourself when you did nothing wrong?
Do they force you to neglect your needs and well-being?
Do they make you go along with their plans and ideas even if they are not in your best interests?
Do they tell you that your perceptions are wrong?
Do they criticize you all the time?
Do they threaten to reveal your secrets if you do not comply with their demands?
Do they suddenly disappear or otherwise make you worry about them as a punishment for something you supposedly did or didn’t do?
If you didn’t check any statements, it is likely that you aren’t experiencing manipulation in your relationship. However, if you feel uneasy for reasons other than the statements above, do not rely on the results of this test and consult a therapist or psychologist who can find the source of your discomfort.
When you aren’t being manipulated, you feel at ease. You don’t feel pressured into doing things. You don’t need to hide anything. You aren’t threatened or worried about anything related to that person.
In any case, it’s important to be aware of the possibility of manipulation and learn how to set healthy boundaries to protect your well-being.
If you checked only a few statements, you may be occasionally pressured and manipulated into doing things you don’t want to do. It’s important to note these red flags right from the beginning, especially if it’s a new relationship.
Often, manipulators test the waters by crossing our boundaries only occasionally or just criticizing us a little too often. If you don’t react by protecting your boundaries, the situation might escalate into something bigger.
If you have checked many statements, you probably already know something is off here. Manipulators have a wide repertoire – they pressure their victims into doing what they are uncomfortable with, constantly take advantage of them, use their resources without permission, and ridicule and punish them as they please.
Once again, this test cannot tell you anything for sure. Still, if you checked many statements, it’s highly recommended to talk to someone you trust or, even better, a mental health professional to help you deal with the situation.
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