Manipulation can be difficult to recognize, but it can have a serious effect on your life and well-being. Not every attempt to influence another person is harmful. For example, a therapist or psychologist might help you reframe unhelpful thoughts or gain a healthier perspective. This quiz, however, is designed to identify only harmful forms of manipulation.
It is also important to remember that romantic partners are not the only people who can be manipulative. Relatives, friends, sports coaches, coworkers, and other people in your life can also use manipulation to control your choices, emotions, or behavior.
The quiz below is designed to help you analyze your relationship with a potential manipulator, but it cannot tell you anything for sure. If you think you may be manipulated, consider speaking with a mental health professional to help you make sense of the situation. When answering, focus on one person at a time.
Check all that apply:
Does the other person make you feel as if you have to constantly apologize for things you know are not your fault?
Do you feel manipulated into seeking validation from them?
Do they pressure you to compromise your values?
Do they threaten you with consequences if you do not give in to their demands?
Do they often ridicule or shame you?
Do they make you feel sorry for them so that you will help them or give them what they want?
Do they often take advantage of you?
Do you feel controlled by the other person?
Does the other person behave in a way that makes you put their needs before your own again and again?
Do you feel that you have to hide your true feelings to avoid being ridiculed or punished?
Do you have to hide things from your friends or family to avoid getting into even more trouble?
Do they keep pushing you to do things you are not comfortable with?
Do they make you cover up their mistakes?
Do they repeatedly pressure you into complying with unreasonable requests?
Do they threaten to harm themselves unless you give them what they want?
Do they deny hurtful things they have done, even though you know they did them?
Do they push you to take responsibility for things that should not be your responsibility?
Do they tell you that you misheard or misunderstood something hurtful they said, even though you know what you heard?
Do they try to undermine your confidence?
Does their attitude toward you change constantly?
Do you feel that you constantly have to explain yourself even when you have done nothing wrong?
Do they pressure you to neglect your own needs and well-being?
Do they make you go along with their plans and ideas even when those plans are not in your best interests?
Do they tell you that your perceptions are wrong?
Do they criticize you all the time?
Do they threaten to reveal your secrets if you do not comply with their demands?
Do they suddenly disappear, or otherwise make you worry about them, as punishment for something you supposedly did or did not do?
If you did not check any statements, it is likely that you are not experiencing manipulation in this relationship. However, if you still feel uneasy for reasons not covered by the statements above, do not rely only on this test. Consider speaking with a therapist or psychologist who can help you understand the source of your discomfort.
When you are not being manipulated, you usually feel more at ease. You do not feel pressured into doing things. You do not need to hide anything. You are not threatened, punished, or made to worry about the other person’s reactions all the time.
In any case, it is useful to be aware of manipulation and to learn how to set healthy boundaries to protect your well-being.
If you checked only a few statements, you may be occasionally pressured or manipulated into doing things you do not want to do. It is important to notice these red flags early, especially if this is a new relationship.
Manipulators often test the waters by crossing your boundaries only occasionally, or by criticizing you a little too often. If you do not respond by protecting your boundaries, the situation may gradually escalate.
If you checked many statements, you probably already sense that something is wrong. Manipulators can use many different tactics. They may pressure you into doing things you are uncomfortable with, take advantage of you, use your resources without permission, ridicule you, punish you, or make you feel responsible for their emotions and choices.
Once again, this test cannot tell you anything for sure. Still, if you checked many statements, it is strongly recommended that you talk to someone you trust or, even better, a mental health professional who can help you deal with the situation safely and clearly.
You may find this interesting:
- Infographic: Psychological Manipulation
- Codependent Quiz: Is Your Helping Healthy?
- Am I Being Gaslighted Quiz
- Dating a Narcissistic Sociopath or a Narcissist: 10 Signs
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