Am I Needy Quiz

Are you needy? Are other people ignoring you? Are you caring or clingy? Are you a little too invested in other people’s business?

The test below is an attempt to answer these questions. While no test is perfect, at the very least, it may help you become more self-aware. Like all other tests on this site, this test is provided for educational purposes only and cannot be used as a diagnostic tool.

It’s important for me that people who receive my assistance know about my involvement.
True
Partially true
False

I am comfortable when people I care about spend time without me.
True
Partially true
False

I give unsolicited advice.
Often
Sometimes
Rarely

I don’t feel emotionally complete unless I am in a romantic relationship.
Agree strongly
Agree slightly
Disagree

I am genuinely concerned for other people and not just because I need to be likable.
Definitely true
Not always
False

I am told I am overly dramatic.
Often
Sometimes
Rarely or never

I often need reassurance about how important my relationship is to my friends or significant other.
Agree
Agree slightly
Disagree

I am overly sensitive to criticism.
Always
Sometimes
Rarely or never

I must admit I secretly like it when other people are in crisis because it allows me to help them.
Agree
Agree slightly
Disagree

I avoid introducing my friends to each other out of fear of being left behind.
Always
Sometimes
Never

I spend a lot of time fantasizing about “fixing” an emotionally damaged person.
Agree
Unsure
Disagree

Helping others without asking for anything in return gives me a sense of satisfaction.
True
Partially true
False

I talk a lot about my feelings and good intentions.
Agree
Agree slightly
Disagree

To be honest, I use my poor health to get other people’s attention.
True
Partially true
False

I take care of others without compromising my well-being.
Always true
True most of the time
False

I need reassurance of other people’s love and loyalty.
Always
Often
Rarely or never

I become emotionally attached to newly met people very quickly.
Often
Sometimes
Rarely or never

I get jealous of my partner’s friends.
Agree strongly
Agree slightly
Disagree

I don’t hesitate to ask very personal questions because I believe I can help.
Often
Occasionally
Rarely or never

I believe I can win over my romantic interests by being nice to them.
True
Somewhat true
False

I need to be that special friend people confide in.
True
Somewhat true
False

I tend to be attracted to people who seem to need rescuing or fixing.
Agree strongly
Unsure
Disagree

I want to be needed.
True
Somewhat true
False

People accuse me of meddling in their affairs.
Often
Sometimes
Rarely or never

I am jealous when my friends spend time with their other friends instead of me.
Always
Sometimes
Never

If I don’t hear from friends or loved ones for a short while, I start to feel anxious and want to call or message them.
True
Somewhat true
False

I feel like I must be a priority in other people’s lives.
True
Somewhat true
False

GET RESULTS

0-6 Emotionally independent

You aren’t particularly needy or clingy. You can give people your time, love, attention, assistance, or gifts without feeling that they owe you something in return.

You are generally able to let other people make their own choices without trying to control them or make them feel indebted to you.

You also understand that some relationships aren’t always meant to last and that sometimes people grow apart. People develop, change, and grow on their own terms, which may mean you can’t be as close as you once were.

You know how to focus on yourself without being selfish, and your happiness doesn’t depend entirely on getting love and attention from other people.

7-19 Some reservations

Many people fall into this category. You aren’t particularly needy or clingy, but you may have some of the tendencies described below under “Hungry for Love.” Simply becoming aware of these tendencies may help you understand your relationships better.

20-54 Hungry for love

People who score here may have a strong need to feel needed, appreciated, reassured, or important in other people’s lives.

If you scored in this range, you may see yourself as a helpful and caring person. You may spend a lot of time doing things for others, solving their problems, and sharing your time or money with them.

There is nothing wrong with being helpful. Problems can begin when help comes with an unspoken expectation — for example, that the other person should spend more time with you, love you, remain close to you, or give you reassurance in return.

This can put pressure on relationships. Some people may gladly accept everything you offer without giving much back. Others may feel uncomfortable if they sense that your help comes with expectations.

You may also find yourself drawn to people who need a lot of support, which can sometimes lead to an unhealthy or codependent relationship.

Now the question is why. Why would you do that? One possible reason is the belief that being needed is a good way to keep people close. It may give you a sense of security or control over your relationships, even if the approach doesn’t work very well.

Another possible reason is feeling that you have to earn love, friendship, or acceptance by doing things for other people.

Fear of abandonment could be another possible cause.

Some people who identify with Enneagram Type 2 may recognize similar patterns of focusing heavily on other people’s needs.

Enneagram Type 2: The Altruist
Enneagram Test Type 2: Top 100 Signs You Are a TWO

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