Believe it or not, feeling bored in relationship is much more common than you think. Few months into relationship, or perhaps a year or two in some cases, and novelty and hormonal high wear off. You just don’t feel the same way anymore. It’s normal.
What you should realize that it’s normal. Most likely your partner didn’t change. It’s same beautiful person you fell madly in love with. What happened is that novelty effect isn’t there anymore, because it simply can’t last, be that with your current partner or somebody else.
So what do you do? Do you just go and change partners every six months? Of course not! You should realize you are looking for problem in a wrong place. The excitement and happiness shouldn’t come from your partner anyway. It’s like searching for your keys in the car when you forgot them at home. You will never find them there. In addition, anything could happen to the other person, if you invest in them that much, you lose balance and perspective. You might even push them away by your neediness.
Earlier today we covered what to do when you feel you are bored with life. Read that page now and take steps outlined there. Not to be harsh or anything, but it’s like Dr. Phil (Dr. Phillip McGraw) says:
Bored people are boring.
When you cure yourself from this chronic boredom, you will see things in a different light. Your partner isn’t there to entertain you. They are a living breathing human being and, just like you, they have their ups and downs. They aren’t professional entertainers, nor they are supposed to be.
If you suspect they are bored too, carefully suggest a solution. Don’t act like a psychologist or like you know it all. Just give ideas and hints on what they could do to feel better. If you think they will be open, show them this page. Perhaps, you could even do something new together.
Boredom in relationships and boredom in general will rear its ugly head from time to time. The solution is to remember that it’s something to be expected and be prepared to deal with it.
If you read that page on being bored with life, you will see that we recommend to write list of all your problems and solve them one by one or create a list of new skills you would like to learn and get started with whatever is available to you at the moment. When talking about being bored in relationship, you and your partner could share lists. It could be a list of problems you have as a couple, be that emotional or financial, and a list of things you would like to do together or learn together.
Working on these lists will not only fix the issues you have with each other, but also will bring new exciting experiences.
Help with emotional problems – tips and resources
Online CBT Platform to Help Deal with Relationship Problems, Anxiety, Depression, Addiction and More. Includes professional follow-up by a CBT therapist. Click here to get started.
Follow the author Follow @elgorsvan