The test below is not designed to diagnose dependent personality disorder; it can only help you identify some of the traits that are characteristic of dependent people. If you score high on dependency, you may want to talk about your results with a mental health professional.
I struggle with everyday decisions and need to consult someone about every little thing.
Agree
Agree slightly
Disagree
Typically, I avoid responsibility
Agree
Agree slightly
Disagree
Being rejected is one of my greatest fears.
Agree
Agree slightly
Disagree
I get attached to people very quickly.
Agree
Agree slightly
Disagree
I feel more confident when someone tells me what to do.
Agree
Agree slightly
Disagree
Generally, I feel powerless.
Agree
Agree slightly
Disagree
Almost everyone I know is more competent and confident than me.
Agree
Agree slightly
Disagree
I see myself as an extension of my protector and caregiver (usually parents or a partner).
Agree
Agree slightly
Disagree
The idea of being autonomous scares me.
Agree
Agree slightly
Disagree
My parents, my partner, or somebody else have to decide what happens next.
Agree
Agree slightly
Disagree
I am told I am passive.
Agree
Agree slightly
Disagree
The idea of being alone and having to do everything by myself terrifies me.
Agree
Agree slightly
Disagree
Overall, I am quite pessimistic.
Agree
Agree slightly
Disagree
I am extremely anxious about being separated from my parents, partner, or another person who makes all my decisions.
Agree
Agree slightly
Disagree
Being alone feels extremely uncomfortable.
Agree
Agree slightly
Disagree
Yes, I need other people’s approval.
Agree
Agree slightly
Disagree
If I lose my current caregiver’s/protector’s support, I will probably end up being unable to care for myself.
Agree
Agree slightly
Disagree
Agreeing with some of the above statements suggests that you have some dependent personality traits, which may or may not mean that you have dependent personality disorder.
Seek help of a mental health professional if
- you agreed with more than a few of the above statements or slightly agreed with many statements
- you feel powerless and incompetent
- you are crippled by the fear of rejection and abandonment
- the person in the role of your caregiver and protector abuses you
- you live in a state of constant anxiety
- you don’t trust yourself
- you feel vulnerable in general
Even if your protector and caregiver isn’t abusive and your relationship works just fine, it’s still a good idea to work on self-reliance.
Here are some ideas:
1. Practice coping with difficult feelings on your own.
2. Learn to be there for yourself more often.
3. Attend to your own needs instead of waiting for someone to do it or ignoring them altogether.
4. Gradually increase your time alone and learn to enjoy it.
5. Widen your social circle.
6. Seek support and be supportive of others without being a burden.
7. Practice making decisions, no matter how small.
8. Let go of the need to pressure others.
9. Keep the desire to be overly controlling in check.
10. Remember: It’s not someone’s job to make you happy — most people struggle just as hard.
11. Avoid complaining and start looking for solutions.
12. Realize that dependence and love aren’t the same thing.
13. Work to overcome your fear of rejection.
14. Stop looking for reassurance. Don’t ask: “Do you love me?”, “Are you going to leave me?”, “How do I look?”, “Are you interested in someone else?” and similar questions.
15. Work on your financial independence.
16. Diversify your sources of happiness instead of relying solely on one person.