Do you need marriage counseling? The rule of the thumb is that if you are wondering about something like this, chances are that you do. Even good relationships could benefit from professional advice, even more so if things are less than perfect. Generally, one of the following behaviors or signs is a good enough reason to seek therapy:
- 1. Negative interactions outnumber positive ones;
- 2. Your partner is having an affair or might be considering it, and vice versa;
- 3. You wish you were single;
- 4. Your partner is physically abusive.
Obviously, in the last scenario you will need more than just a counselor, but talking to a marriage therapist alone and without your partner knowing is a good place to start and will help you deal with the problem in the safest way possible.
There is a lot of not-so-obvious signs as well, and you can find them in the quiz below. However, keep in mind that you possibly can’t make a perfect quiz for something like that. In fact, trying to do so would be irresponsible. Quizzes are based on scores: For example, 1-30 — bad; 31-60 — okay; 61-100 perfect. Imagine: If you score 31, you are told that your relationship is okay; but if you score 30, you are told you are in a big trouble. That is only one point difference; this obviously doesn’t make sense in real life.
So while we are going to calculate your score, please use common sense when deciding whether or not you need couple counseling or solo counseling. This quiz is designed to stimulate your thinking and organize your thoughts more than give you a definite answer. Ready? Let’s begin!
| Signs of Deteriorating Relationship | TRUE | FALSE |
| 1. You are giving more than you are getting back. | ||
| 2. Your partner is very secretive. | ||
| 3. Your partner never leaves his or her cell phone unattended. | ||
| 4. You secretly resent your partner for something they have done or not done. | ||
| 5. You feel your bond has weakened. | ||
| 6. It feels like your partner isn’t present even when you are together. | ||
| 7. You feel insecure about your relationship. | ||
| 8. You are jealous. | ||
| 9. You have different views regarding what is considered acceptable. | ||
| 10. You feel exploited by your partner. | ||
| 11. Your partner takes you for granted. | ||
| 12. You don’t trust your partner. | ||
| 13. Your partner suddenly deletes everything, such as calling and text history, browsing history, emails. | ||
| 14. You feel invisible. | ||
| 15. You struggle to come up with conversation topics to entertain your partner because silence feels uncomfortable. | ||
| 16. You feel tension in the air. | ||
| 17. There are many unresolved issues between you and your partner. | ||
| 18. You hesitate to speak out. | ||
| 19. You feel the need to be extremely cautious of your words and actions as if you were walking on eggshells. | ||
| 20. You criticize your partner behind his or her back. | ||
| 21. You are gradually drifting apart. | ||
| 22. Your relationship is not satisfying. | ||
| 23. Silent treatment is a norm between you two. | ||
| 24. You yell at each other. | ||
| 25. There is a growing emotional distance between you two. | ||
| 26. One of the two partners is overly sensitive and tends to overreact. | ||
| 27. Your or your partner’s words and actions do not match. | ||
| 28. Your partner isn’t supportive. | ||
| 29. One of the partners manipulates the situation by crying and falling apart. | ||
| 30. There are things you want to know about your partner but are afraid to ask. | ||
| 31. You feel lonely. | ||
| 32. Your partner ridicules you. | ||
| 33. Your partner criticizes you excessively. | ||
| 34. Your partner seems to be passive and disengaged even when confronted about your problems as a couple. | ||
| 35. There is something that one of the partners is unable to forgive. | ||
| 36. Your partner is verbally abusive. | ||
| 37. You want different things. | ||
| 38. Your partner withholds physical affection. | ||
| 39. You have different views about money. | ||
| 40. You and your partner compete with each other, and you are keeping a score. | ||
| 41. One partner tries to change the other one. | ||
| 42. You hide your partner’s behavior or lie about him or her to your friends and family. | ||
| 43. Your time together decreased. | ||
| 44. You are unsure whether or not you can see yourself and your partner together in the future. | ||
| 45. You wonder if you even want this relationship to work out. | ||
| 46. Your partner negatively interprets some of your most innocent actions. | ||
| 47. Your partner constantly makes you feel guilty. | ||
| 48. Your partner puts you in a risky situation where you are forced to do things you don’t necessarily want to do, such as lending money or becoming a guarantor. | ||
| 49. Your partner has changed. | ||
| 50. You compare your relationship to others. |
Your results will be displayed below the button.
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