Want to embed this in your web page? You can!
First things first: there is a big difference between psychological or emotional manipulation and simple influence. Healthy social influence happens naturally, without anyone trying to force it. We may affect other people’s choices, preferences, and judgment without threatening their emotional, physical, or overall well-being.
In psychological manipulation, however, the manipulator’s goal is to create an imbalance of power in order to exploit another person’s weaknesses and serve their own interests. The roots of emotional manipulation are quite complex. Generally, the reasons why an individual may choose manipulative behavior include:
- personal gain,
- desire for power and superiority,
- desire to control,
- self-esteem issues,
- boredom.
The cycle of manipulation typically includes three stages:
- the manipulator discovers a weakness, or an emotional hot button, in their target;
- the manipulator takes advantage of this weakness;
- the manipulator benefits from it, and the cycle often repeats.
People targeted by manipulators often have one or more of the traits below:
- an unhealthy desire to please,
- love addiction (fear of being single),
- lack of assertiveness,
- fear of confrontation,
- low self-confidence,
- loneliness,
- a blurry sense of identity,
- low self-reliance,
- external locus of control,
- naivety,
- emotional dependency,
- immaturity.
These character traits often serve as emotional hot buttons that manipulators use to their advantage. This does not mean that the person being manipulated is to blame. It simply means that manipulators tend to target this type of person more often. Needless to say, people who are young, isolated, or mentally exhausted may be especially vulnerable because they are less able to resist.
Wondering whether you are being manipulated? Here are some of the most common red flags of psychological manipulation:
- your words are used against you;
- the manipulator poses as a rescuer, but their help leaves you feeling miserable;
- the manipulator makes a disturbing statement, then claims you misunderstood what they said;
- you constantly feel guilty;
- the manipulator makes you question your own sanity;
- if you don’t give them what they want, they will withdraw their love and affection;
- you are unhappy in this relationship, and yet you fear losing it;
- your relationship feels very complex;
- you always feel you are falling short of their expectations;
- you feel like you are walking on eggshells;
- they are trying to isolate you.
If you suspect you are being manipulated, you need to find a way to stand up for yourself safely. Sometimes the manipulator will apologize and temporarily correct their behavior, only to return to it later. Avoid isolation and nurture your relationships with other people so that you can maintain a healthy perspective. A romantic relationship with a manipulator can be especially damaging and should be avoided. If you are already in a relationship with a controlling and manipulative person, you may want to check out this download created by our partners.
You may also like:
Mind Control Techniques
Sociopath Symptoms and Signs You Never Heard Of
10 Signs You are Dating a Narcissistic Sociopath
For Classrooms, Teams, and Workshops
Download once — use with unlimited participants
Shop now »