Ending any relationship is usually hard, but ending a long term relationship is complicated by myriads of factors other than your actual feelings. These factors include:
- how to end this relationship? How to actually tell your partner?
- if you are still in love with your spouse, how to get over him or her?
- who is going to move out and who is going to take the house?
- how to share property you accumulated during many years together?
- how does your divorce affect children and what to do about it?
- one of you may actually have nowhere to go.
As you see, the situation is hard whether you have money and property or not. If you do, you don’t know how to split it so everyone remains satisfied. If you don’t, you simply have nowhere to go.
Divorce reality: when you have nowhere to go
If you are the one who has to leave the house, your friends or your parents may offer temporary support. Obviously, this doesn’t appeal to you, but it’s better than living in the street.
Another option would be to look for a new job, perhaps in new location, that offers living arrangements. Almost any native English speaker can become a respected English teacher in countries like Japan, Thailand or China.
If you are sick, tired and broken-hearted, new location and new people may be exactly what you need. In Swahili for the Broken-hearted Peter Moore travels all the way from Cairo to Cape Town to get over his breakup, which resulted in epic adventure and… a book!
Another exotic option you probably haven’t considered is to volunteer for animal rescue projects somewhere in Africa or Asia. Some of these projects will provide living arrangements for you. It may sound crazy to you right now, but it can be indeed an awesome opportunity to take some time off your routine, recharge your batteries and ultimately feel alive again.
Don’t dismiss this just because you have children. It is obviously harder if you have someone to care for, but some projects will allow you to take children with you and will have school arrangements in place. Then, your children too may be traumatized by your divorce and seeing something new and exciting and being close to nature will benefit them and make them stronger and healthier.
If you need emotional support
Many people are generally understanding of what you are going through and you will probably find a lot of support from your friends and family. However, the best support usually comes from those who are passing through similar challenges. Here are links to some online communities where you can talk about your divorce, support others and receive help:
- LoveShack separation and divorce forum;
- DivorceSource forums;
- Dad’s Divorce was built specifically for men passing through divorce. Full of useful information and has an active forum where you can ask questions and help others;
- Single Mom Forums;
- Just Mommies message boards.
In addition we have a lot of useful stuff to help you cope with your divorce in our divorce and breakup section and in our relationship sections. Both are constantly updated and new articles are added several times per week.
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