The ENFJ personality type is probably one of the most romantic of all 16 types. More on that here. ENFJs are fond of the idea of love, and when they fall in love with someone, they fall deeply.
They are willing to do what it takes to make the relationship work, and even the smallest relationship problems may leave them devastated.
What some people may find particularly difficult when dealing with the ENFJ is that ENFJs tend to idealize their relationships and their partners. This ENFJ tendency may stress out some other types, who feel they can never meet such high expectations.
If you are not sure about your personality type, you may want to take this test first.
It is important to mention that you do not have to avoid certain personality types just because you do not have much in common. Even two completely different people can make a relationship work if they learn about each other’s preferences and commit to being considerate and respectful of each other’s needs.
ENFJ and ENFJ Compatibility
Ah, who can understand you better than someone of your own type? An ENFJ and ENFJ relationship can be wonderful because both partners consider the relationship a priority, and both are willing to work to make it even better.
Energetic and productive ENFJ couples enjoy planning their future together, support each other, and feel especially secure because they can trust each other.
On the negative side, they may have issues because both can be quite stubborn and feel very strongly about things. If their opinions clash, neither of them may be willing to compromise.
To make things worse, both tend to avoid confrontation and leave things unsaid for the sake of “peace.” Of course, this does not feel good and may undermine their connection with each other.
ENFJ and INTJ Compatibility
ENFJs and INTJs connect in several ways:
- Both love intellectual stimulation. They observe the world and try to understand why things are the way they are, looking for less obvious connections between things.
- Both like to plan things and are not especially good at “living in the now.”
- Both like to be productive and enjoy setting goals and working toward them.
Problems may arise because of their different priorities. The ENFJ’s priority is the relationship. The INTJ, on the other hand, is the most independent personality type and is mostly concerned with intellectual pursuits and career advancement.
The INTJ may not give the ENFJ as much attention as they need, leaving their ENFJ partner bitter and disappointed.
ENFJ and ESTP Compatibility
Energetic and expressive ENFJs are exactly what ESTPs are looking for.
ESTPs see their partners as playmates — people they can have fun with and avoid negativity with as much as possible.
The ENFJ likes the ESTP’s outgoing style. They both enjoy socializing and are likely to have an active social life as a couple. Moreover, the ENFJ values the ESTP’s spontaneity, adventurousness, and generosity.
The ESTP, on the other hand, appreciates the ENFJ’s warmth, authenticity, and kindness. ESTPs are enthusiastic, high-energy partners, and ENFJs can be perfect for them.
On the negative side, the ESTP tends to get bored quickly, and if the ENFJ fails to keep things interesting, the ESTP may choose to have an affair.
To make things worse, The ENFJ tends to avoid honest discussions and often fails to communicate their needs to the ESTP. Unfortunately, ESTPs are not the type to understand their partners’ deep feelings unless those feelings are spelled out for them.
ENFJ and ISTP Compatibility
These two do not have much in common, but that is precisely what makes them so attractive to each other.
ISTPs like optimistic people who do not make life more complicated than it should be, and ENFJs may feel attracted to somewhat mysterious ISTPs.
If they bond over a hobby or shared interest, they may end up getting married very quickly.
One important thing to keep in mind is that the two communicate very differently. ENFJs are very verbal and expressive about their feelings, while ISTPs feel their partners should “just know” they are loved. ISTPs would rather show their feelings through actions, such as small gifts and physical affection.
Both the ENFJ and the ISTP avoid discussing their problems. ENFJs avoid confrontation for the sake of the relationship, while ISTPs rarely discuss how they feel about their relationships with anyone, including their partners.
This lack of communication may make the relationship less satisfying for both. The good thing is that neither type gives up on the relationship easily. The ISTP will not leave their partner unless there are very serious reasons to do so. Similarly, the ENFJ will not break up with someone who has done nothing wrong.
ENFJ and ENTJ Compatibility
Both ENFJs and ENTJs are future-oriented. They enjoy making plans, setting goals, and reaching them.
While the ENFJ’s focus is primarily on the relationship, the ENTJ’s focus is on advancing their career or business. The ENTJ needs a stable partner who can take care of the relationship and family, and the ENFJ suits this role very well.
The ENFJ, on the other hand, appreciates the ENTJ’s loyalty, strength, confidence, energy, and leadership abilities.
Of course, there is a negative side too. ENFJs tend to take everything personally, and ENTJs can be very straightforward when expressing their opinions. What the ENTJ sees as constructive criticism may sound very harsh to the ENFJ.
The ENTJ, on the other hand, may think the ENFJ overreacts to everything, which can be very tiring and distracting for the ENTJ.
ENFJ and INFJ Compatibility
These two have a lot in common and understand each other very well. Both types value good communication, loyalty, and self-expression. Both are sensitive, warm, and affectionate.
Their main difference is introversion vs. extraversion, which means the ENFJ is much more friendly and energetic than the INFJ.
INFJs can benefit from being involved in more activities and meeting more people. However, ENFJs have to be careful not to exhaust their partners with too many social interactions and too many plans.
The ENFJ partner has to be patient and allow the INFJ plenty of time to recover, be alone, and think things through. Considering the ENFJ’s natural tendency to act quickly, waiting for the INFJ to make up their mind about something can be very frustrating.
The INFJ, on the other hand, may feel constantly pressured into something and may feel that the ENFJ is always too busy to really focus and listen to what they have to say.
INFJ vs. ENFJ: Beyond Introvert vs. Extrovert
ENFJ and INFP Compatibility
ENFJs and INFPs are a great match because both are very relationship-focused.
Both are warm people who value authenticity and do not like to play games. These two have a lot going for them, and we have already discussed that in detail here.
On the negative side, active and energetic ENFJs may sometimes be too much for INFPs, who need space and time for themselves.
ENFJs, on the other hand, may think INFPs are somewhat lazy and may resent them for leaving them with a disproportionate amount of responsibilities and household chores.
ENFJ and ENTP Compatibility
ENFJs and ENTPs are very much alike. They are both spontaneous, fun-loving, energetic, and outgoing.
However, being the most introverted extrovert, the ENTP is more assertive and needs some time alone. The two are likely to have interesting discussions and be very supportive of each other’s pursuits.
Problems may arise because of their different preferences when it comes to planning. The ENTP wants to keep their options open, while the ENFJ wants to plan things in advance.
Besides, when it comes to relationships, ENTPs may have commitment issues. More on that here. ENFJs, however, want to know exactly where they stand.
ENFJ and ESTJ Compatibility
Finally, someone who can give the ENFJ the stable and secure relationship they are looking for!
Yes, the ESTJ is not particularly romantic or sensitive, but they have many qualities ENFJs appreciate:
- They will not keep you hanging, wondering where the relationship is going.
- They will do whatever tradition requires them to do — whether that means flowers, a wedding, protecting and providing, or cooking for the family. They are ready for it.
- They like their home tidy and organized — a big plus in the ENFJ’s book.
- They are so reliable!
ESTJs, on the other hand, are attracted to the ENFJ’s warmth, optimism, and original way of thinking.
On the negative side, the imaginative ENFJ may begin to feel bored with their ESTJ partner, who is very down-to-earth. ENFJs want someone more romantic, but ESTJs are naturally practical, logical, and very businesslike.
ESTJs may have their doubts too. They may see their ENFJ partners as irrational and overly emotional. This is especially true when it comes to decision-making.
ESTJs make decisions after carefully analyzing all relevant data, while ENFJs make decisions based on their feelings and personal values. Needless to say, such differences may result in a lot of arguments between the two.
ENFJ and ISTJ Compatibility
The ISTJ is another good option for the ENFJ.
Even though the two are very different people, they can make a good team because they are both good planners and like to stay organized. When it comes to relationships, ISTJs are very similar to ESTJs. See above.
On the negative side, there may be a lack of communication because the ISTJ partner does not readily share their innermost thoughts and feelings.
This does not feel good on the ENFJ end because ENFJs want to connect on a deeper level by discussing feelings and emotions with their partner.
ENFJ and ESFP Compatibility
Energetic and fun-loving ESFPs may seem like a great match, but let’s be realistic — ESFPs may have commitment issues. Even when they commit, they tend to get bored and move in and out of relationships quickly.
Although the two may have a great time together at the beginning of the relationship, the ENFJ may begin to feel insecure later on.
ENFJs want stable and secure relationships where they can trust their partners, but ESFPs are not always ready to provide that.
ENFJ and ESFJ Compatibility
The ESFJ is another excellent option for the ENFJ.
An ENFJ and ESFJ relationship can be rewarding because both are very loyal, caring, and relationship-focused. ESFJs are friendly and talkative, so the two are likely to have lots of interesting conversations and an active social life.
Another huge plus: ESFJs are very organized people and like their homes orderly and well-maintained. This is very important for ENFJs.
Both the ENFJ and the ESFJ value harmony and are likely to work on their relationship. Moreover, they are likely to stay committed even when things get tough. Marriage is extremely important to both, especially to the ESFJ.
An ENFJ and ESFJ relationship is usually very stable and affectionate.
On the negative side, they may sometimes compete for airtime because both are incredibly talkative. Another potential problem is their desire to avoid unpleasant conversations, which may leave some issues unresolved.
ENFJ and ENFP Compatibility
Although ENFPs are far from perfect partners, they are very compatible with ENFJs.
They have lots of things in common, and a relationship with an ENFP is never dull or boring. However, there are important differences between the two that can make the ENFJ partner very unhappy:
- ENFPs may have commitment issues, which is certainly not something ENFJs are looking for.
- ENFPs tend to generate lots of ideas and talk a lot, but when it comes to action, they tend to procrastinate or not do anything at all.
- ENFPs dislike chores and are terrible at cleaning and organizing.
- See 10 Ways ENFPs Annoy Others for more.
ENFJ and ISFP Compatibility
When it comes to relationships, both the ENFJ and the ISFP have similar values. They both want loyal partners who understand them and who they can have fun with.
With that in mind, the likelihood of them ending up together and getting married is very high.
ISFPs make very nurturing and supportive partners. They are also very romantic and are ready to give up on other important things for the sake of their relationships.
There is a negative side too. ISFPs are very spontaneous and like to go with the flow, while ENFJs want to plan things and know exactly where they are going.
The ENFJ may attempt to control the ISFP or express dissatisfaction with the way the ISFP lives, which, of course, is not something the ISFP is going to appreciate.
Also, the ENFJ needs lots of social stimulation, while the ISFP prefers quiet activities alone or with close friends.
ISFPs may find ENFJs too intense, too bossy, and controlling. They may feel like ENFJs are constantly pressing them into doing something they do not want to do. This ENFJ habit can be very off-putting to naturally considerate and respectful ISFPs.
ENFJ and ISFJ Compatibility
ISFJs derive pleasure from caring for others and are known for their strong sense of duty. It is not surprising that they can make great partners for many personality types, including ENFJs.
Although ISFJs and ENFJs have more differences than similarities, their core values are similar: they prioritize relationships and want to be useful and respectable.
Problems may arise because of their different needs when it comes to social stimulation. Just like other introverted types, the ISFJ may find the ENFJ too loud and intense.
The ENFJ, on the other hand, may find the ISFJ a little boring. In addition to being introverted, ISFJs resist change and avoid trying new things. They are also slow to make decisions because they need to think things over, which can be very frustrating for ENFJs.
ENFJ and INTP Compatibility
ENFJs and INTPs do not have much in common, but they both make loyal and committed partners.
The ENFJ is fascinated by the INTP’s independence and creativity, while the INTP is attracted to the ENFJ’s warmth, energy, and optimism.
If the two end up married, the ENFJ partner has to be prepared to arrange shared social obligations, such as attending other people’s weddings or making courtesy visits. The INTP cannot be bothered with these types of activities.
The INTP’s unwillingness to participate in social life is a huge problem for ENFJs, who crave social experiences and enjoy meeting new people.
Besides, the INTP is not especially talkative, and the ENFJ partner will constantly try to get them to open up and share. Unfortunately, the INTP may not appreciate the ENFJ’s efforts and may end up feeling nagged.
To make things worse, the INTP is terrible at household chores and could not care less about other people’s opinions of their housekeeping or appearance, which does not sit well with the ENFJ.
Once again, if you are not sure about your personality type, try taking this test.
All posts on ENFJs can be found here.
The 16 Personalities main page is here.
All relationship compatibility posts can be found here and are regularly updated with new posts.
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