Enneagram Type 2: The Altruist

Core motivation: to be loved, avoid loneliness, and feel needed by others

Coping strategy: pleasing others in order to feel loved and accepted

Fundamental need: to be loved

Other names: The Helper, The Giver, The Cheerleader, The Rescuer, The Fixer, The Altruist, The Host, The Facilitator

Enneagram Type Two is the most people-oriented type. They want to feel connected to the people around them. They want to do good, help others, and feel happy when their relationships feel warm and secure. If you are not sure about your Enneagram type, try taking this test.

Recognizing Twos

Twos often appear positive, warm, and energetic. They are sociable and extroverted, and from their clothing to the tone of their voice, much of what they do is meant to make other people feel comfortable and pleased.

They maintain eye contact without being intimidating, smile a lot, speak in a friendly and cheerful way, and often give plenty of compliments.

There are many female Twos, but men can be Twos as well. Many women also feel pressure to behave like Twos even when they do not belong to this type.

Because negativity feels unlikeable to them, Twos often try to emphasize everything positive and ignore everything negative. They may give you gifts, invite you for meals, and offer you a shoulder to cry on.

Limiting Beliefs

Twos want to be loved. Some of their beliefs, however, can keep them from feeling at ease and cause a great deal of emotional suffering.

One common belief is that love is available only through relationships with other people. In other words, they may not fully understand healthy self-love. They may also feel that they are not lovable as they are and that they have to work hard to please others in order to deserve love.

Another common belief is that expressing their own needs is selfish. Because of this, they may expect others to guess what they need, which does not happen very often. When others fail to care for them in the same way they care for others, resentment can build.

Twos often confuse being needed with being loved. Their usual strategy is to make others dependent on them by providing for them, helping them, and catering to their needs.

Not everyone accepts this, though. Some other types may see the Two’s people-pleasing behavior as controlling or manipulative. They may reject the Two and everything they have to offer, causing a lot of pain.

This pattern is more obvious in unhealthy Twos. Healthy Twos are genuinely nurturing and empathic. Unlike their unhealthy counterparts, they are forgiving, altruistic, and warm-hearted. They love without conditions.

Enneagram Type Two: Healthy, Average, and Unhealthy

Healthy: unselfish, humble, sincere, thoughtful, forgiving, caring, warm-hearted, generous, uplifting.

Average: positive, uplifting, people-pleasing, extremely friendly, sometimes intrusive, giving but expecting something in return.

Unhealthy: needy, resentful, controlling, manipulative, guilt-inducing, wanting to be indispensable, wanting others to feel indebted to them.

Looking for Love

Twos may seem warm-hearted and affectionate, but deep inside, they are searching for love for themselves.

They often try to meet their own emotional needs by pleasing others. Their attention is focused not only on what other people want, but also on what they hope to receive from them in return.

Unless they are very healthy, their love is not free, and it is far from unconditional. If they do something for others, they want credit for it.

If you are a Two, this may be difficult to accept. You may see yourself as selfless, someone who gives without expecting anything in return.

This may be true if you are a high-functioning or healthy Two. Average-to-unhealthy Twos, however, may not be fully aware of their own motives.

Some give affection, attention, and support while quietly expecting the same in return. If someone fails to reciprocate or does not do what the Two wants them to do, the Two may punish them by withdrawing attention. They will also feel hurt.

This is not the case with healthy Twos. Healthy Twos have learned to love themselves, so the attention and love they give to others are sincere and unconditional.

Although they want others to love them, they realize this is not always possible. They are not interested in making others dependent on them while maintaining their own independence. They give freely without expecting anything back.

What Twos Need to Understand

Twos often go overboard and shower others with love, gifts, and attention, whether sincerely or not. What feels loving to the Two may feel uncomfortable, pressuring, or confusing to the person on the receiving end.

Different personality types may react differently. Some people will enjoy the attention, but in many cases, it can be counterproductive. Here are some possible reactions:

• They may feel that Twos make them look bad by being more generous than they are.
• They may feel bad because they cannot reciprocate.
• They may feel that Twos are acting desperate.
• They may suspect that by being overly generous, Twos are playing a role. As a result, they may feel that they do not know the real person behind the giving.
• They may feel as if they owe the Two friendship.
• Those who believe that there is no such thing as a free lunch may become suspicious and wonder where the catch is.
• Some may feel that a relationship where one side over-gives is imbalanced.
• Some may feel they cannot be completely themselves or voice opinions that do not match what the Two thinks.
• Some may feel pressure to respond to the Two’s gifts with gifts of similar value, which is not always convenient.
• Some may take advantage of the Two’s generosity and befriend Twos only to benefit from them.

Ironically, the Type Two tendency to over-give may put a strain on their relationships, which is the opposite of what they are trying to achieve. By overdoing things, they may push away the people they like and attract users and takers instead.

Questions for Twos

• What are you trying to achieve by giving so much?
• Could this strategy be counterproductive?
• Are people around you because they love you, or because they depend on you?
• Is there a particular person who takes too much from you?
• What if you stopped hiding your needs and became more open about them?
• Are you helping others at the expense of your health and well-being?

Random Facts About Twos

• Twos often find something positive in some of the most challenging situations.
• They like to compliment people and may find something positive to say even about some of the most difficult people.
• A typical Two wants a cozy home where they can live surrounded by people they love.
• It is easy and natural for Twos to strike up a conversation with almost anyone.
• Twos will cancel their plans to attend to other people’s needs.
• They are likely to have rescued animals living in their homes.
• Twos are soft-hearted, but they are not pushovers.
• While trying to fix things for others, Twos often spread themselves too thin.
• Twos find it very difficult to ask for help for themselves.

Jobs for Twos

• nurse
• therapist
• host or hostess
• secretary
• PR manager
• entertainer
• receptionist
• waiter or waitress
• event planner
• hospitality roles
• marketing roles
• psychologist
• counselor
• social worker

Wings

Type Twos can have either a Three-Wing or a One-Wing.

• The Two with a One-Wing (2w1) is a more service-oriented type.
• The Two with a Three-Wing (2w3) is a more success-oriented type.

Type Two Test

Here is a test made specifically for people who want to see how strongly they relate to Type Two:

Enneagram Test Type Two: Top 100 Signs You Are a TWO

Famous Twos

• Eleanor Roosevelt
• Melanie in Gone with the Wind

Enneagram Type Two and MBTI

Type Twos often test as ESFJs, ENFJs, or INFJs.

If you are not sure about your type, try this test.