Enneagram Type 4: The Aesthete

Core motivation: the fear of abandonment and rejection, and the fear of being ordinary

Coping strategies: trying to be unique in order to feel loved

Fundamental needs: self-expression, finding the missing part of themselves, feeling complete

Other names: The Giver, The Artist, The Cheerleader, The Drama Queen/King, The Individualist, The Dreamer, The Romantic

The Enneagram personality test can be found here.

Fours Are Awesome. Here’s why:

They transform pain into beauty.

They have great taste.

They can be vulnerable and strong at the same time.

They are self-aware.

They are empathetic.

They are unique.

They are artistic.

They are passionate.

They are deep.

They are genuinely interested in other people’s thoughts and feelings.

They talk about love and beauty.

They are highly perceptive.

Wanting What They Don’t Have

One of Type Four’s defining characteristics is an intense yearning for the unavailable: distant friends, long-distance relationships, and ideal lovers who exist only in the Four’s imagination.

Fours focus either on past experiences or future possibilities, but their attention to the here and now tends to be weak and inconsistent.

Their attraction to the unavailable brings them an enormous amount of suffering, but the reality is that they want it that way.

Fours cannot be satisfied with shallow emotions and ordinary experiences. They want intensity, and they want emotional highs and lows. They want someone or something that can pull them out of their daily routine and make them feel alive.

At the same time, Fours are painfully aware that less introspective people often have happier and more satisfying lives. These are people who want what they already have — something the Four wishes they could do but cannot.

This fact of life may bring out different responses in different Fours. To some Fours, other people’s happiness is just a reminder of their own lack. Other Fours may begin to feel envious of others.

Uniqueness

Not only do Fours crave extraordinary experiences, but they also want to be special. Preoccupied with appearing deep and unique, Fours craft their image carefully and do not give in to group identity easily. The girl-next-door or boy-next-door image will not do either.

Many Fours can be recognized by their unusual clothing choices. One of the Four’s biggest fears is being ordinary.

Fours try to give the impression that they are a special kind of person, perhaps one in a billion.

They want other people’s recognition and appreciation. They want to fascinate others, sometimes to the point of obsession.

Fours never seem to get tired of playing their roles. With excellent manners, refined taste, stylish clothes, beautiful surroundings, and a carefully created atmosphere, Fours can be very attractive.

But a relationship with a Four is not for everyone. They tend to take you for granted when you are available and fall in love with you when you are gone.

Creativity

Because they find day-to-day reality incredibly dull, Fours always try to add more flavor to life through drama, romance, creativity, and art.

Writing, painting, and other forms of art provide an emotional outlet for Fours. They add depth to the experience and keep Fours from getting bored.

Emotional Fours

Unlike many other types, Fours do not shy away from their emotions. Whether it is sadness, pain, despair, loss, joy, or love, they want to feel the full force of it.

Because they experience emotions so deeply, Fours can be very empathetic.

The Four’s emotional expressiveness and ability to connect make them highly desirable.

On the other hand, because people with this personality type depend on others to love and appreciate them, Fours are especially sensitive to rejection and criticism.

Fours tend to get carried away by their emotions, and some other types may find the Four’s emotional intensity and drama tiring. As a result, they may distance themselves from the Four.

Unhealthy Fours

• too much drama and a constant state of crisis
• being too self-absorbed
• always feeling unsatisfied
• telling too many repetitive stories about themselves
• focusing on the negative
• attention-seeking behavior
• overanalyzing relationships
• feeling bored, rejected, and misunderstood
• acting desperate and needy
• feeling envious of others

Random Facts About Fours

1. Fours secretly enjoy being special. They invent numerous ways to be unique. Being “allergic” to common foods is one of them.

2. Fours feel that they need to be unique to deserve someone’s love.

3. Young Fours are often drawn to unconventional fashion trends.

4. Self-hatred and envy are common problems in unhealthy Fours. When they are out of balance, Fours may feel that everything positive — everything they want to have — exists outside themselves.

5. Many Fours are incredibly romantic yet demanding. They dream of a perfect relationship, of someone who will come and rescue them from their boring life.

6. Another thing Fours dream about is being discovered. They fantasize that one day someone will recognize their true talents.

7. Fours are complex people and are very interested in self-improvement and self-help.

8. Fours are willing to listen to others’ problems and support them when needed. Unhealthy Fours, however, can be very self-absorbed and insensitive.

9. Some Fours are even proud of their emotional suffering. First, it makes them feel special. Second, it is a way to draw attention. Third, it makes them feel as if they are deeper and more sensitive than others, able to understand what others cannot.

10. Fours are generally more pessimistic than other types.

11. More than other types, Fours are likely to enjoy sad songs and movies because these help them feel their emotions more deeply.

12. Fours are often able to transform their negative experiences into something valuable.

13. Fours may not know who they are, but they certainly know who they are not. “I would never do such a thing!” is something they often say.

Jobs for Fours

• art teachers
• artists
• graphic designers
• fashion designers
• psychotherapists
• counselors
• entrepreneurs

Wings

The Four with a Five-Wing (4w5) is more introverted than the other subtype. 4w5s are more analytical and reflective, longing to be discovered for their unique qualities. More on 4w5 here.

The Four with a Three-Wing (4w3) is a more success-oriented subtype. 4w3s focus more on their appearance and are more extroverted than 4w5s. More on 4w3 here.

If you have not done so yet, take the Type Four test to measure your Fourness.

Famous Fours

• Michael Jackson
• Prince
• Johnny Depp

Enneagram Type Four and MBTI

Fours usually test as INFPs or INFJs.