ESTP and INFJ

ESTPs and INFJs are not naturally compatible because they have very different relationship needs:

• The ESTP is not usually interested in deep emotional conversations and tends to avoid emotionally intense types like the INFJ. Generally speaking, the ESTP needs a playmate — someone to go on adventures with. More on this here »
• The INFJ, on the other hand, is a very emotionally intense type. INFJs want deep and meaningful relationships, and they tend to be very idealistic about love and relationships in general. If things do not go as expected, they may become deeply disappointed and heartbroken.

Consider this: the ESTP may say things like:

• I want to travel.
• I want to flirt.
• I want to have fun.
• I do not want to take things too seriously.
• I want to be spontaneous.
• I want someone who can help me escape the negativity of life.
• Too much routine is boring.

Meanwhile, the INFJ may say things like:

• I want to be cared for.
• I want to nurture.
• I want to feel connected to my partner.
• I want reassurance that our bond is real.
• I want to give love and be loved.
• I want to have a meaningful relationship.
• My goal is harmony.

More ESTP and INFJ differences:

• The ESTP lives for the moment, while the INFJ is future-oriented.
• The ESTP focuses on people and things, while the INFJ focuses on their inner world.
• The ESTP is consumed by the fear of missing out on life experiences, while the INFJ prioritizes quality over quantity.
• The ESTP would rather be doing something than sitting still because activity helps distract them from overthinking or facing their issues, while the INFJ cannot function properly until they get in tune with their emotions.

Because they are so different, there is a lot of room for conflict:

• Money issues: INFJs tend to live modestly, carefully saving and investing their money, while ESTPs are often big spenders.
• Communication issues: Whenever there is a problem, INFJs want to carefully think everything through and then discuss it with their partners, while ESTPs tend to say things as they occur to them without always considering how it may feel on the receiving end.

Although these two types are not naturally compatible, this does not mean that ESTPs and INFJs cannot get along. Any two personality types can get along and have a satisfying marriage or relationship if they take the time to learn about each other’s needs and preferences. Sometimes, their differences are exactly what makes the relationship stronger.

For example, INFJs have a lot of potential, but they do not always articulate their thoughts easily and often prefer to let their actions speak for themselves. It may take someone like the ESTP to help them express themselves more fully — to share their ideas, theories, and even the things they find funny. This can help INFJs develop their potential more fully and contribute more to the world.

Their different ways of looking at things can be a source of conflict, but they can also make the relationship more interesting and stimulating. Through each other, they may learn to experience life in ways they normally would not.

The ESTP can help the INFJ relax and enjoy life’s little pleasures a little more. The INFJ can make the ESTP’s life better by using natural strengths the ESTP may lack, such as planning and organizing.

To make an ESTP and INFJ relationship work, the ESTP can help by:

• becoming more considerate,
• slowing down a little to allow the INFJ partner to adjust,
• becoming more responsible when it comes to chores, parenting, and financial issues,
• sharing the INFJ’s interests.

The INFJ partner can help by:

• learning to relax and let go,
• stopping overthinking and overanalyzing the ESTP,
• giving the ESTP more freedom,
• sharing the ESTP’s interests.

If you are not sure about your personality type, try taking this test.

The 16 personality types main page can be found here.

Everything on the ESTP personality type is here.

Everything on the INFJ personality type is here.