Uncomfortable feelings and fears can ruin what could be a great relationship. Being able to trust and relax completely with someone is key to a healthy and happy relationship. However, it’s common to experience some discomfort from time to time. Sometimes this is due to misunderstandings, and sometimes it’s due to unresolved issues from the past.
The test below is designed to highlight any potential issues; however, it should not be treated as a diagnostic tool. If you are concerned about your emotional well-being, seek professional help. Check all that apply.
It is not easy for me to communicate my feelings to other people.
I sometimes catch myself thinking that hiding my feelings and emotions is safer than expressing them.
It is hard for me to share my thoughts with others.
I don’t want to get close to others because then they might reject me.
Sometimes I feel like I am hiding behind a mask.
Being around others feels uncomfortable.
Perhaps I am naturally suspicious.
I always try to protect myself from becoming too vulnerable, whether in friendships or personal relationships.
I have been hurt in the past and am not completely healed yet.
I am afraid to express my emotions, even about subjects unrelated to relationships.
I experience anxiety or discomfort when someone tries to get close to me.
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I find it difficult to commit to a relationship.
I make it a point not to depend on others.
I try to keep a certain space around me where others can’t enter. This way, I feel more in control.
Sometimes I intentionally push others away to avoid getting too close.
I don’t trust easily.
I always have my guard up around others.
I never knew how to ask for what I needed in a relationship.
I worry about being hurt even before there is any reason to think about it.
I avoid asking for help.
If you checked more than a few statements, you might have a fear of intimacy. The above test cannot accurately estimate your level of fear of intimacy, but it can highlight some of the possible issues that could indicate that you are not completely comfortable around others.
It’s important to remember that it is normal to have some reservations about becoming close to others in certain situations. However, you should still be able to form meaningful connections without being afraid to express your needs and emotions.
On the next level, when you only begin to develop a fear of intimacy, you may experience a certain level of discomfort around others, particularly when it comes to personal relationships. You may hold back some of your thoughts and feelings and may begin to feel anxious when someone tries to get close.
People with a high fear of intimacy may allow only superficial relationships. They may intentionally push others away, preventing any meaningful connections.
There are many factors that could contribute to the development of a fear of intimacy:
- Low self-esteem
- History of abuse
- Inability to communicate effectively
- Growing up in a broken home
If you think you may have any of the above issues or if you have a fear of intimacy, it is a good idea to talk things through with a mental health professional to get customized advice for your specific needs.