Fear of rejection doesn’t always look obvious. It can show up as avoiding conflict, worrying about other people’s opinions, holding back in social situations, or finding it difficult to say no.
The test below is designed to estimate how sensitive you are to rejection and social disapproval. It is not a diagnostic tool and is provided for educational purposes only.
I often wonder whether people talk negatively about my appearance.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
If I don’t like something, I make sure to let everyone know.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I avoid new people and new places.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I can talk to strangers if I need to.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I am concerned about other people’s negative opinions of me, even if they are strangers.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly

To be honest, I am jealous of my friend’s other friendships.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I feel uncomfortable around strangers.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I am a resilient person.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I feel embarrassed when my close friends or family members argue with other people.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I’ve never had problems with public speaking.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I avoid difficult conversations.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I feel like I am constantly being judged.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I never learned a foreign language because of my fear of making mistakes.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
Sometimes I feel intimidated by salespeople.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I make friends easily.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
It’s difficult for me to call a business to ask questions, such as what they offer or when they close.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I don’t avoid my opponents, enemies, or those who criticize me.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I avoid getting involved in disagreements because I’m afraid someone will become upset with me.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I never ask twice for anything.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I’ve never known how to turn down after-work parties, even though I hate them.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I soften my position to avoid disagreements and arguments.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I feel embarrassed asking questions when I don’t understand something.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
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I can express disagreement even when I know the other person may not like what I have to say.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I am not sensitive to criticism.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I don’t know how to say no.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
The idea of job interviews makes me really anxious.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I feel confident in any outfit.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I don’t hesitate to ask for help.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I don’t know how to confront people who borrow my things and don’t return them.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I avoid disagreements.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I don’t change my opinions just to gain other people’s approval.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I worry that people will lose interest in me or stop wanting me around.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I never feel alone in the company of other people.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I am extremely sensitive.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I never worry about my first impression.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I connect with new people quickly and easily.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
When it comes to communication, my strategy is to prepare myself for the worst.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I wonder whether other people are staring at me.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
I avoid those who don’t like me.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
Although I can definitely see other people’s admirable qualities, something prevents me from giving them compliments.
Agree strongly
Agree
Agree slightly
Not sure
Disagree slightly
Disagree
Disagree strongly
How to Interpret Your Results
The Approval Seeker
Relationships are extremely important to you, but you probably have only a few close friends and family members with whom you communicate frequently. Your fear of rejection may prevent you from getting out there and meeting new people, taking new job opportunities, and visiting new places.
To be on the safe side, you may sometimes imitate others in what they do and how they dress. You might also have some people-pleasing tendencies. You worry a lot about other people’s opinions of you and often second-guess yourself.
You may often worry:
- Did I wear the right clothes?
- Do I look all right?
- Did I choose the right words to express myself?
- Did I make a good impression?
- I wish I hadn’t said that!
- I probably can’t pull that off!
The diplomat
You are a diplomat. You know that living in a society means sticking to certain social norms unless you want to be rejected.
You are a confident person, but that doesn’t mean you are rejection-proof. You don’t particularly enjoy being criticized by others, and you aren’t the type to go out in your PJs.
Having to stick to the rules doesn’t bother you, and you generally know how to compromise. You avoid openly criticizing others and express opposing opinions in the form of suggestions.
Nonconformist
You aren’t particularly concerned about other people’s opinions of you and don’t like to mince words. If you have an opinion about something, you will express it whether others like it or not.
Some people think you are blunt, but this doesn’t change a thing. After all, being yourself is the only way to ensure that you meet people who genuinely like you.
While rejection may be somewhat unpleasant, you don’t obsess about it and keep trying until you get what you want.
How to Deal With Rejection in Love
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