So you’ve messed up and now trying to figure out how to apologize and get the person involved to forgive you. You know you were wrong and now want to fix the damage.
When talking about apologies, you can possibly be in two types of situations:
- the upsetting event happened due to circumstances beyond your control, hence you didn’t hurt or offend anyone intentionally, or
- you intentionally hurt someone whether directly or indirectly, but whatever happened was intentional on your part.
Due to this important difference in intention, you will have to use different techniques to get what you want.
How to apologize when things were beyond your control
If upsetting event happened due to circumstances beyond your control, by all means emphasize that. Show how sad you feel about what happened but explain that you did everything you could to prevent the upsetting event.
For example, if you were late to office due to traffic jam, you should clearly state so. In addition, you should explain how you did everything you could to prevent it, but things didn’t work out as you hoped.
How to apologize when you’re really guilty
And if you are really guilty you need to show your readiness to accept full responsibility for whatever you have done. Do not argue. Do not try to blame others. Do not try to blame circumstances. Do not try to find excuses. Instead, show how deeply sorry you are and accept full responsibility.
You need to come across as sincere and you need to be very specific about your misdeed and how much sorry you feel. Because you made the other person feel bad, you need to restore the balance by telling her you are prepared to to face any consequences for your actions. She must feel she is now in complete control of situation and it’s up to her whether or not to excuse you, or maybe even punish you.
In addition, you should assure her that this will never repeat in the future and describe what steps you are going to take to prevent this from happening again.
When it’s hard to say sorry
Some people find apologizing very hard even when they know they have to. Your inability to admit your wrongdoings and offer a sincere apology may put strain on your relationships at work and at home and lead you to a place you don’t want to be. If that’s your case consider this self-hypnosis download developed by professional psychologists to help you become someone who takes full responsibility for his actions and talks openly about it.
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