Breakup, divorce, rejection – all mean pain for most of us. When you can’t save that relationship, or when there is nothing to save to begin with, or when saving that relationship is not a wise thing to do, you will need a lot of strength and a lot of help. But what if you were truly in love? How to get over someone you really really loved? Well, time heals even more painful wounds (yes, there are even more painful wounds). Here is how to help yourself to cope with one of the hardest periods of your life and recover sooner.
- Tell yourself it will go
Because it will. Years from now you may be remembering this experience with gratitude. It might be so hard to imagine this right now, and yet this happens way more often than you think. You will emerge stronger and wiser after all you’ve been through. You will become more assertive and will be more likely to attract a quality partner. In fact, the thought of what could have been if you were to stay with the person you are crying for right now may scare you in the future.
This might not make your pain any less right now, but knowing that it’s just a matter of time and that there might be much better life and more exciting events in the future will help you get through the day.
- Don’t bottle up your feelings
Obviously you will still have to drag your feet to work or to school and wear fake okayness there, but know that when you are alone by yourself, the tears will flow. Don’t attempt to stop this. Instead, open your laptop, sign in to your Google Drive, open a new document and let it all out.
Writing a journal can be very therapeutic. When you just dump your thoughts and feelings on paper (or in our case, on computer screen), your mind can relax and restore. If you never did this before, you will be surprised by how much better you feel by simply writing.
Some people, especially men, have difficulty articulating their feelings. As a result they keep it all inside, suffering even more pain. If you find it hard to express your feelings download the list of human emotions here, it should help you write your journal.
Another benefit of this method is that nobody will know your secrets and embarrassments. You will never regret having shared something too personal, too private. Then when you are over it, it’s so easy to just delete that file!
- Become physically active
Sports and physical activity can heal you. When you are playing tennis or following a cardio class at the gym, all your energy and attention are focused on one single task. In that state it’s impossible to think of your problems or anything other than what you are doing. This is the reason why we feel so alive, so present when exercising in groups. Cardio exercise is the best for this. If possible, look for classes like Body Combat, Fight-Do or Tae-Bo. These classes are extremely entertaining and allow to let your anger out at the same time.
- Become social
Now that you have all your free time to yourself, you have more opportunities to see your friends and family. While you might not feel like socializing, don’t avoid contact with other people. Anything that helps you focus outside of yourself will be helpful right now.
- Avoid idleness
Being idle doesn’t help even those who don’t have any particular issues in their lives. When we are idle, our minds tend to turn against themselves, exaggerating our problems or looking for new ones, making us feel even worse.
- Consider counseling or therapy
No doubt, there is a lot of great information on the Internet and lots of helpful books on this subject. However, more often than not, it takes much more than that to change the way you feel. Therapy is a good way to help you deal with your emotions. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is particularly successful in teaching people challenge their thinking patterns, and as a result, helping them deal with emotional and mental health issues.
For example, this website offers a fully-equipped CBT platform, including a private therapist. Their approach is entirely science-based and focuses on goals, which is to feel better as quickly as possible. Once again, here is the link.
- Practice self-hypnosis
Self-hypnosis is an awesome way to heal a broken heart. The best part, it’s affordable and available to everyone. If you are suffering because the person you love doesn’t share your feelings, use Unrequited Love download. If you need to get over a divorce, then choose this download. For best results you should be listening for this download for at least twenty-one consecutive days (no breaks!).
- Give it time
The saying that time heals is true. Just keep putting one step in front of the other until you realize you feel better. That day will come. Promise.
Also see this post on how to deal with rejection.