Main Character Syndrome Test: Are You Self-Absorbed?

Are you too self-focused in your daily interactions? This self-absorption test offers insights into how you relate to others and whether you might be unknowingly making others feel ignored or dismissed. The test is for educational purposes only and is not a replacement for professional advice.

Low

You’re generally very self-aware and other-aware. You don’t have the tendency to make everything about you. You are genuinely interested in other people and can listen without feeling like you’re disappearing. And you can happily let others take the spotlight. In other words, you are not attention-hungry.

What you probably do well

• You don’t need to be the center to feel okay.
• You can let people talk about themselves without feeling irritated, jealous, or restless.
• You don’t overthink small things (a short reply, a delayed reply, a neutral reaction).
• You’re probably pleasant to be around because you give others support and attention without expecting much in return.

On the other hand, as a result of your low self-absorption, you may

• undershare,
• play small,
• let louder personalities take over,
• feel like you are always a listener.

If you want to claim more space on purpose, next time you are talking to a friend, try to share at least one personal thought or feeling. It doesn’t have to be anything too intense, but it can make for a more interesting conversation and help people get to know you better.

Another issue to keep in mind is that sometimes people score low here not because of their natural low self-absorption but because they are shutting down socially due to depression or burnout.

Moderate

Your result suggests that while you don’t have main character syndrome, you may (or may not) have main-character moments.

You may feel tempted to draw attention to yourself, especially when:

• Others talk about something you can relate to.
• You feel misunderstood and want to clarify things.

Occasionally, you may feel disappointed about not getting as much attention as you expected, or you may catch yourself talking more than intended because, let’s admit, it can be fun.

Most people land here, and that’s okay. Some people who get this result are simply naturally expressive, and others may definitely appreciate that.

What you probably do well

• You have presence.
• Conversations with you are likely to be interesting and stimulating.
• Not only do you listen to others, but you also share your own experiences and perspectives.
• You come across as an opinionated and energetic person.
• You are socially engaged, not passive.
• You can make a good leader.

Watch out for:

• Giving unsolicited advice or giving advice too fast.
• Turning the spotlight onto yourself too often.
• Being too sensitive when others fail to react to your news and updates or when their reactions are weaker than you hoped for.
• Overexplaining and oversharing.

None of this makes you a bad person. It’s just the kind of thing that slowly tires people out if it happens a lot. Given this result, you are probably far from self-absorbed, but if you want to make sure you aren’t annoying anyone, try the following:

• Make sure you listen to others without interrupting.
• Before sharing your own story, ask two questions about theirs.
• Pause before giving advice and maybe start with something like “If it were me, I would…” or “Why not try…”

High

Your result suggests that you tend to see yourself as the main reference point most of the time. If someone shares something with you, your natural reaction is to turn the spotlight onto yourself, your experiences, your stories, your feelings, your struggles, your needs.

You may have difficulty listening till the end before sharing your own related experience, maybe even dismissing their struggles because you believe you went through something even harder. Because you are so focused on yourself, you may do this unknowingly and without realizing that others may feel invalidated and ignored.

You may still care about others, but you may not be expressing it clearly enough. If you swing the attention back to you every time, others cannot know that you care.

Signs of main character syndrome or high self-absorption:

• You want strong reactions.
• You often take things personally.
• When talking to friends or family, you want to be the main topic of the conversation.
• You feel a little bit like an actor playing a role.
• You overshare and generally reveal too many details.

The hard part is that highly self-focused people often don’t realize what they are doing. Even more so, they often feel wronged, misunderstood, unappreciated, and ignored. So while they may be unknowingly annoying others, they do so while feeling terrible themselves. Others may grow tired of them because they feel like they need to constantly cater to them without getting anything back.

If you want to control this natural tendency, try the following:

• Act like you are genuinely interested in other people by asking follow-up questions and listening until the end.
• Don’t try to clarify every little misunderstanding and practice letting it just be as long as it is insignificant.
• Delay the urge to interrupt others and see if it passes on its own.
• Stop looking for proof that you matter to others.
• Aim to listen at least 50 to 60 percent of the time.
• Work on becoming more secure from the inside.
• This behavior can be due to stress and anxiety, so you may need to work on those too.

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