Over-Apologizing Test: Do You Say “Sorry” Too Much?

Do you apologize even when you know you clearly did nothing wrong? Like… you have a question: “Sorry.” Someone bumps into you: “Sorry.” You simply walk into a room: “Sorry.” That type of thing. If you’ve ever thought, “Do I say sorry too much?” this test might clarify things. Unless you’re Canadian and use “sorry” as a greeting, this test focuses on an unnecessary, automatic kind of apology. Let’s begin!

3. I apologize when asking someone to explain something again even when they didn’t explain it well the first time.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

4. I apologize when asking someone to repeat something, even when they mumble or the environment is too noisy.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

5. If the other person and I start to speak at the same time, I default to “sorry”, even if it was truly simultaneous and accidental.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

6. If I unintentionally interrupt someone briefly, I tend to apologize more than once.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

9. I apologize for my overly intense reactions that don’t harm anyone, even when I clearly have reasons to be upset (e.g., crying or freezing).

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

10. I say “sorry” when I bump into something or drop something, even when nobody else is affected.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

11. I apologize when making a basic request, like asking for a menu in a restaurant.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

15. I say “sorry” for not knowing the answer to a question.

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Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

16. I apologize when I need someone to clarify something, even when it’s a reasonable request.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

17. I tend to apologize when I steer the conversation in a new direction as if I am not allowed to start a new topic.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

18. I think I say “sorry” way too often, but it’s just a habit I can’t get rid of.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

19. I catch myself apologizing for a “late reply” even when I know it was a reasonable amount of time.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

23. I feel the urge to apologize when I feel like I am being watched or evaluated.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Almost always

Low

You don’t have the tendency to overapologize. If you do say ‘sorry,’ it’s usually intentional, polite, and used where appropriate. You don’t feel the need to soften everything with an apology and are able to speak up, ask questions, share opinions, and generally take up normal space in a conversation without feeling guilty for it.

Moderate

You are not somebody who constantly apologizes, but you might have a little bit of a “sorry” habit. You use the word “sorry” as social cushioning or just in case – to soften things, prevent people from getting mad at you, or avoid coming across as rude. Staying polite is a good thing, but some of your apologizing may be unnecessary and may put you at a disadvantage with more aggressive types who may view your “sorry” as an admission of guilt. You may be using sorry to fill awkward pauses, start messages, or ask for something; however, at this point, it is only a habit and not necessarily part of who you are. If you want to appear more confident, you can train yourself by pausing before apologizing and considering if there is anything to apologize for.

High

Your results suggest that you tend to overuse “sorry”. You apologize when no apology is necessary because you often use it to shrink your presence. You want to come across as less intense, less demanding, less awkward, and less noticeable.

What does it mean when you say “sorry” too much? It usually means that you subconsciously treat social friction as something dangerous that needs to be immediately softened. But the issue is that you are also likely to view normal everyday situations as friction.

All those unnecessary apologies can make you look unassertive rather than simply polite, and may even leave you slightly embarrassed afterward, like you gave away confidence for no reason. Try swapping “sorry” for “excuse me” or “thanks” where appropriate. For example, try “Thank you for waiting” instead of “Sorry, I’m late.”

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