The Phlegmatic-Choleric couple is a good example to demonstrate that you don’t have to be a similar temperament or personality type in order to be happy together.
Personality compatibility is not about being similar in nature, it is about being able to co-exist in harmony. You don’t need to avoid certain types of personality just because you seem to be as different as day and night. Instead, you have to learn about strong and weak points of both sides, and turn your weaknesses into advantages. Read on and you will see that this is possible with any temperament or personality match, but in this one in particular, we are looking at Phlegmatic and Choleric couples.
Despite the fact that these two temperaments are very different, they are often drawn to each other from the very first time they meet and it is thought to be because their opposite qualities complement for each other – opposites attract, or so they say!
Their problem solving skills are a good example of how opposites attract — with their web thinking, Phlegmatic people tend to ruminate about the issue at hand, but never solve it. They see it from so many different angles, and can think of so many facets of the problem, that they just never get to resolving it. From completely other side of the spectrum, Choleric people are fast at making decisions, but are likely to do that skipping over the secondary data altogether. Together, however, Choleric and Phlegmatic together prove to be a very effective team because they have these complementary qualities.
The same applies with their social skills! Between all types of personality, Choleric people are the least compassionate. They are emotionally contained and may be even blunt. Phlegmatic partners, however, with their empathy, emotional expressiveness and drive to please others will smooth that away. It would seem that they both admire each other for these differences and will mean that their conversations will always be interesting. The Choleric will impress the Phlegmatic by the depth of his or her knowledge of a particular subject, while the Phlegmatic will blow the Choleric away by his or her ability to see “the bigger picture”.
Phlegmatic people, who always try to read people, will have enjoyable experience to decipher their Choleric partners – it is so easy! Choleric people will love the warmth of Phlegmatic partners; their acceptance and compassion.
Phlegmatic people will admire the Choleric person for his or her ability to act freely and independently. Choleric will pay his respects also by admiring the amiability of the Phlegmatic partner.
If these two see something that is worth of pursuit in their relationship, nothing will ever stop them. They are capable of reaching the extreme connection and intimacy with each other but the only difference is that the Choleric partner will be less verbal about it.
Sure enough, the problems could arise even here. Choleric people are emotionally contained – their ideal is to be logical and efficient. They don’t confess love very often and this could disappoint sentimental Phlegmatic partners who will try to interpret the Choleric behavior and always end up interpreting it wrongly. By thinking that the connection is lost, they start to feel unloved. However the Choleric partners will begin to feel as if they have been completely misunderstood.
Choleric people admire self-control. If the Phlegmatic partner starts to overreact, becoming a drama queen (or king), the Choleric partner will get seriously annoyed and become even more unavailable that he or she already seemed to be.
Nevertheless, the personality compatibility is great here and these two could make an exciting match if they manage to overcome their difficulties.
You can find more information on the four personality types and all related links on the main personality page.