How to Read Body Language

Reading body language does not necessarily have to be an intuitive ability. Anyone who is willing to be attentive can learn the art of “reading” people.

As discussed in Body Language in Communication, the key to reading body language accurately is to understand a person’s emotional condition while listening to what they are saying, keeping in mind the circumstances under which they are saying it.

This means that a separate gesture should not be interpreted without considering other signs displayed at the same time. The circumstances under which the gesture happens must also be taken into account.

The same gesture could mean different things at different times. For example, scratching the head can mean forgetfulness, confusion, discomfort, or possibly that the person is trying to hide something. The way to find out is to look at other signs that are happening simultaneously.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Body language can have a very strong effect, especially when words and nonverbal signals do not match. If a person is truthful, their verbal and nonverbal signals usually appear congruent. When there is no congruency between the two, people often take body language messages into consideration and may dismiss the words.

One good example is a manager standing with his arms tightly folded across his chest and his chin down in front of his subordinates, telling them how open he is to any input. He is unlikely to receive many suggestions. His body message contradicts his verbal message, and even those who have never seriously thought about reading body language may have a gut feeling that he is not sincere.

From another point of view, if you meet a person waiting at a bus stop on a cold winter day who takes the same pose — arms crossed, chin down — it does not mean that they are feeling negative about you or defensive. It may simply mean that they are cold.

Misinterpretation

When reading body language, keep in mind that you might misinterpret certain people due to their particular circumstances. For example, some people cannot cross their legs even if they feel defensive. People who suffer from arthritis may have a soft handshake because they are trying to avoid unnecessary pain. This could be misinterpreted as weakness of character.

Similarly, sometimes a person is simply wearing ill-fitting clothing that restricts their movements, which in turn affects their use of body language.

It is interesting that as people get older, their gestures become less obvious, which makes them harder to read. On top of that, older people may have less muscle tone in their faces than younger people, and this makes the task even more complicated.

Liar, Liar

When a little child tells a lie, they often cover their mouth with one or both hands. When an adult tells a lie, they may also have a reflex of touching the mouth, but because adults are more conscious of what they are doing, the hand may be quickly pulled away. This can result in a brief nose-touching gesture instead.

Of course, nose touching alone does not prove that someone is lying. People touch their faces for many reasons. They may be nervous, uncomfortable, itchy, tired, or simply thinking. This is why it is important to read the whole situation, not just one gesture.

Some people can successfully “fake” certain signs when lying to support their lies and make them look more believable. However, someone who is skilled at reading body language may notice other signals that are harder to control. These may include pupil changes, blushing, sweating, or changes in the voice.

Still, these signs do not automatically prove lying either. They may simply show stress, anxiety, embarrassment, or emotional pressure.

Finally, it is extremely difficult to fake body language for extended periods of time. If you watch carefully for long enough, small inconsistencies may eventually give the game away.

Eye Expressions and Body Language