Do you hate yourself? Self-hatred or self-loathing is an extreme dislike of oneself. It may be linked to
- Guilt
- Poor body image
- Depression
- Personality disorders, such as BPD
- Many other mental health disorders
There are many types of self-hatred. While some people constantly blame themselves for their perceived past mistakes, some others feel uncomfortable with their own identity — their race, their nationality, their gender, etc.
The self-hatred test below is more generic and may not be suitable for everyone. If you suspect you have a self-hatred problem, please contact a mental health professional right away.
HOW OFTEN DO YOU FEEL THAT…
… you wasted lots of time.
often
rarely
never
… you made lots of mistakes.
often
rarely
never
… nobody loves you.
often
rarely
never
… you are an outcast.
often
rarely
never
… you are a victim of circumstances.
often
rarely
never
… you can’t get ahead in life because of what your parents have done to you.
often
rarely
never
… you are pathetic.
often
rarely
never
… you are rejected by everyone.
often
rarely
never
… you are guilty.
often
rarely
never
… you don’t contribute to society.
often
rarely
never
… nobody respects you.
often
rarely
never
… you are hopeless.
often
rarely
never
… you have no self-confidence.
often
rarely
never
… you are a loser.
often
rarely
never
… you missed many opportunities.
often
rarely
never
… you are defeated by life.
often
rarely
never
… your mental suffering is intense.
often
rarely
never
… other people don’t understand you.
often
rarely
never
… no one wants to be around you.
often
rarely
never
… you are damaged.
often
rarely
never
It is difficult to make a perfect self-hatred test because it’s such a serious problem. If you scored more than 5 or if you feel that your mental suffering is intense most of the time, it is highly likely that you have serious emotional issues that warrant a visit to a psychologist or therapist. The highest possible score is 40; the higher the score, the bigger the problem.
People with self-hatred problem spend a lot of time alone, constantly blaming themselves for things they have done or haven’t done. It’s like a hateful person follows them around 24 hours a day, except that they can’t escape from their self-defeating thoughts.
They may or may not be angry at others for not understanding their needs or ignoring them, but they are always angry at themselves. Thoughts of past failures and missed opportunities seem particularly painful. They are haunted by the stark contrast between their own lonely and supposedly unproductive life and other people’s success.
It is important to mention that their self-blame is not necessarily deserved; it could be a result of negative events beyond their control, such as victimization, being abused as children or other types of trauma. Self-hatred can be so acutely painful that it is sometimes considered a form of abuse.
Self-haters feel terribly confused and constantly doubt themselves. Each day seems like another day lost. Feeling paralyzed, they have no idea what they could do differently to change the way they feel about themselves. Typically they withdraw from society and become self-absorbed. They spend a lot of time doing nothing, often in bed. Because they are afraid of another “failure”, they don’t attempt to do anything anymore, denying themselves even a chance to prove themselves that they are capable individuals.
Not only are they convinced that they are worthless and incapable, they also believe that others judge them as harshly as they judge themselves. Their obsession with negative thoughts and depression may become overwhelming and may lead to suicidal thoughts. If you experience any of these symptoms, please call your local suicide prevention hotline and make an appointment with a mental health professional right away.
In mild cases, the following self-help tools can be helpful:
- Online CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) platform. Includes self-help materials and a follow up by a professional CBT therapist.
- 10 Steps to overcome negativity. Self-hypnosis download.
Online CBT Platform to Help Deal with Relationship Problems, Anxiety, Depression, Addiction, and More. Includes professional follow-up by a CBT therapist. Click here to get started.