You may not realize how much power you have in your hands — literally. There are times when your hands can save you or betray you, and it all happens without your conscious involvement. Unless you know how to read them, of course.
In many languages, the word “hands” is used to express much more than a body part. Think about it: In English, we say things like:
- “Mike has the upper hand in their relationship,” meaning he is in a position of advantage, power, and control.
- “She is hands down the best teacher in the school,” meaning she is easily the best.
- “Don’t show your hand if you want to succeed,” meaning if you want to succeed, do not reveal your plans.
- “An offhand remark,” meaning a remark made without much thought or preparation.
In most cultures, an open hand is associated with honesty. Throughout history, holding a palm over the heart or raising a hand while giving testimony was meant to emphasize truthfulness.
In some Arab, Malaysian, and Indonesian cultures, people have a habit of holding their hands over their hearts when they greet each other, as if to show sincere happiness.
For some reason, it is really difficult to lie with your palms exposed, which opens up a whole exciting topic: hand gestures in body language.
How to get people to believe you
When we are accused of something we did not do, we tend to get emotional and say things like, “I didn’t do it,” “I wasn’t there,” or “I have no idea!”
You are likely to expose your palms as if to show that you are not hiding anything. The other person may get an intuitive feeling that you must be telling the truth.
By contrast, be alert when someone is telling you something important while keeping their hands in their pockets or hidden behind their back. Hidden palms certainly do not make a story more believable, even when the person is telling the truth.
Of course, this may not apply in every situation. But the more intense the situation and the more important the issue, the more likely it is that the person may be lying or holding back some vital information.
Another important thing to know is that many women prefer to look busy when lying. They may compulsively clean and rearrange things or keep trying to talk about unrelated subjects to distract you.
Read more: Signs of lying in body language.
Palms up, palms down
The way you use your palms while talking to others can significantly change how people perceive you.
Make a simple request with your palms facing up, and people will feel that you are asking for a favor. They will not feel bothered by your request, nor will they feel threatened or pressured.
But if you make the same request with your palms facing down, it will feel more like an order.
As with everything else in body language, cultural differences are possible. For example, the classic Western “come here” gesture, with the arm extended and the palm facing up while waving toward yourself, would be seen as degrading in South Korea.
Here is the right way to do it while in Korea:
Shaking hands
A handshake can set the tone of any business or political meeting and may even affect its outcome.
When two equals shake hands, their hands usually remain vertical, with each hand mirroring the other.
But if one person’s palm faces upward, it may be perceived as a symbolic surrender, suggesting that this person accepts the other person’s superiority and dominance.
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Similarly, many successful executives and aggressive politicians tend to use a dominant style when shaking hands. Whether consciously or subconsciously, their hands often end up on top unless the other person refuses to accept their dominance and engages in a symbolic power struggle.
In that case, both hands will remain vertical, just as they would in an equal handshake.
But what do you do when someone tries to impose dominance on you during a handshake?
One easy way to deal with this is to put your left hand over their right hand, forming a double-hand handshake. By doing this, you create a power switch.
However, this can annoy the other person too, so use it only when you really need to.
It is important to mention that a double-hand handshake is not always negative. When given by a close friend, it communicates warmth and openness, just like a hug.
In many Arab countries, a stranger might give you a double-hand handshake without trying to intimidate you. If you are a friend of their friend, they may give you a double-hand handshake as if to say, “You are just like my close friend to me.”
To sum up, if you want to give a friendly handshake, make sure that both hands stay vertical and apply no more pressure than the other person does.
Rubbing the hands together
In most cultures, rubbing the hands together suggests excitement and anticipation of something good. Unless it is cold, of course.
The speed of the rubbing may show the level of excitement or how soon the person expects something good to happen.
Money or heart?
A thumb-and-finger rub is commonly associated with money, as if you were saying, “Give me the money!”
Despite its wide recognition, this gesture is considered impolite.
The same gesture without rubbing means “heart” in South Korea, as if you were saying, “I love you.”
Hands clasped
Depending on the situation, clasped or clenched hands may mean several things. They may suggest that a person is about to take a strong stance, or they may show confidence, nervousness, or frustration.
Body language experts Allan and Barbara Pease, who co-authored several books on body language, made an interesting observation: the height at which the hands are held can reveal the degree of a person’s frustration.
If a person holds their hands clenched, with fingers intertwined in front of the face while sitting, they may be difficult to deal with. Offer them a drink or ask them to hold something to unlock their hands; they are likely to become much more open to what you have to say.
Steepled hands
The steepled hands gesture, where the hands form an upward-pointing V, conveys a confident and self-assured attitude.
Although it is often used by people in positions of authority, the person using it is not necessarily trying to dominate you. They may simply feel capable and confident.
Hands behind the back
Walking or standing with your hands behind your back, with one hand holding the other, can help you look more authoritative and in control.
Using this gesture in a high-stress situation may help you feel more confident. However, hands hidden behind your back do not make you look more believable (see above), so you may want to avoid this gesture when you want others to believe what you are saying.
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