It is critical to recognize these repelling qualities while you are still in the beginning stages of the relationship. There are many more turn-offs but the ones mentioned here are particularly dangerous, because living with someone who has these qualities will seriously undermine the quality of your life. You might even recognize some of these qualities in yourself. Getting rid of them, or at the very least getting them under control, will make you more attractive.
Falling in love is a process, it obviously takes time. Waiting, wondering, anticipating is a part of pleasure; without it the whole thing wouldn’t be that much fun. Some people, however, have no patience for such things. They are never concerned with your desires and preferences, only with their own. They act in a way that suggests they think of themselves so highly, that you must have been overwhelmed by them and there is no reason for them to wait.
This type of people often repels others with their egoism. And truly, it is better to avoid getting involved with this type. If you suspect you might be dealing with an egoist, ask them to wait; their reaction will tell you all you need to know.
Being patient never fails to impress. When you are patient you show how much you are caring about another person.
Strangely enough some people will fall in love with you all too early. So early that you might be still unaware of their existence. Don’t get fooled here: You aren’t that overwhelming. In fact, it is not about you all, it’s all about them. These people typically suffer from inner void and are desperate to fill it — they are bored, their lives are empty. They have nothing much to offer. And guess what, they are seeing you as their rescue.
This type is clingy. If you make a mistake by getting involved with them, soon you will find that it is impossible to free yourself from them without drama. They will blame you and try to make you feel guilty.
You can recognize this type by how quickly they fall in love with you. Other signs include their inability to disagree with you, imitating you and general lack of self-respect.
It is great to have good moral standards and advise others to be the same (while inspiring them by your own example). What we are talking about is a sort of mental rigidity when a person develops her own fixed ideas on how to do things and tries to bend you accordingly.
These people are not only rigid. They are also extremely judgmental; tend to think ill of others, never giving them the benefit of the doubt. They always think in worst-case-scenario terms and suspect you in some dirty ulterior motives behind your most innocent phrases and acts. Prepare for long monologues on how you should behave and poisoned comments.
The moving force behind this behavior is their desire to dominate and control you. These are extremely unhappy and unsatisfied people. Getting involved with them will make you unhappy too.
Lack of generosity is one of the biggest turn-offs. And it’s not really a money problem. You can be poor and still be a generous person. You might be wealthy and still be cheap. Cheapness in money matters signals inability to give in general, inability to let go, inability to take any kind of risk. When cheap people give you some breadcrumbs, they believe they’ve been very generous with you and make sure you know that. They remember all the favors they have done for you in the past and are always ready to remind you about these instances.
Even if money is not your concern, being in relationship with a cheap person is extremely unsatisfying as they generally cannot give – money, time, themselves, etc. Don’t get involved.
This type of people is supersensitive to their own egos. If they were sensitive to others, they would be concerned for others, but that’s not the case. They are not concerned about others being wronged; they are concerned about themselves. You will recognize them by constant complaining and whining. They interpret your words and actions in relation to their egos, looking for negative signs.
If you spot any of these signs simply do not get involved. You will save yourself years of struggling and disappointment. Likewise, if you yourself have any of these qualities, work to get them under control as they may repel quality people from you.
Online CBT Platform to Help Deal with Relationship Problems, Anxiety, Depression, Addiction and More. Includes professional follow-up by a CBT therapist. Click here to get started.
Follow the author Follow @elgorsvan