If you landed on this page looking for warning signs of a breakup, chances are you aren’t feeling very well. Oh that stomach-churning feeling! You must have noticed that something is not quite right and, make no mistake, there are real reasons to think so.
Before we start, keep in mind this:
- Some of the signs below can be also signs of depression or mental disorder. Whether or not it makes things easier is up to you to decide;
- If your partner really wants to breakup, it is generaly better to know sooner than later. Yes, it will hurt for a while, but eventually you will get over him and start your new exciting life, perhaps with new people in it;
- Oftentimes it is possible to repair your relationship, though it does tend to become more painful before it gets better.
One of the most important signs of break up is when your partner comes up with reasons to spend more time separately from you. Business trips, hitting the gym harder than ever, new friends, heck, even another job will do – anything to minimize contact.
Very often when we feel uncomfortable in relationship and want to break up we simply don’t know how to say it. Staying apart creates an illusion that our now boring partner isn’t present in our lives and makes us secretly hope that he or she will just disappear.
And if things aren’t clear, you aren’t accused of being boring. Our romantic love is more often about us than the other person. Chances are you didn’t change, but your partner did. Your self esteem shouldn’t suffer in the process, because really that old cliche “It’s not you, it’s me” is true.
Another warning sign of a breakup is picking up petty fights. When your partner finally appears, things won’t be fun either. He will try to orchestrate things in a way that helps initiate as many little fights as possible. The logic behind it is as follows: I don’t know how to tell her, but if I push her to fight with me it will be like she has initiated all this mess and maybe she will make the move and dump me herself.
Obviously, this doesn’t happen in every breakup, but this does happen to some. If you arguing has been a part of your relationship for a while, read this.
And just as the above can be true, there is another extreme, which is ignoring you and NOT fighting with you when he normally would. This one hurts just as bad as picking up fights, perhaps more. You might do things you know would drive him crazy before, but now he doesn’t seem to care. It is a sign of complete detachment.
Finally, the last warning sign is when his things, if any, start to disappear from your place. If he kept anything in your home he will want to take it back before you realize your relationship is over. This way he doesn’t have to worry about it or see you after the breakup.
Similarly, he will return all things he has borrowed from you (hopefully) to avoid any contact with you when you will be devastated, or so he thinks.
Here is the summary again:
- coming up with reasons to be away from you,
- picking up petty fights,
- ignoring you when he would normally get hurt and try to clarify things or even fight with you,
- his things disappearing from your place,
- returning whatever he has borrowed.
If you feel devastated relax and let him go. He wouldn’t make you happy anyway. Read our breakup and divorce category to help yourself cope with this challenge. Believe it or not, once it will become a distant memory and you might even feel happy things turned out this way.
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