ISTJ and ENFP couple is probably one of the most unlikely couples, yet all personality types can potentially get along and be way happier than most of us. ISTJs and ENFPs have virtually nothing in common, so if they end up together, it’s because they are attracted to each other’s opposite qualities:
- The ISTJ may be attracted to the ENFP’s warmth, energy and optimism.
- The ENFP may be attracted to the ISTJ’s stability and maturity.
- ENFPs have a tendency to overthink and become anxious because of their imagined worst-case scenarios, and ISTJs are experts at preventing disasters and preparing things in advance. This ISTJ trait is very desirable to ENFPs because with ISTJs they can feel safe and secure.
They have a lot of differences too:
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- The ENFP is warm and emotionally available type while the ISTJ is very reserved and may even seem a little cold.
- The ENFP is creative and adventurous while the ISTJ likes to play it safe and never leaves his or her comfort zone.
- The ENFP is flexible and adaptable type while the ISTJ is somewhat rigid.
- The ENFP is spontaneous while the ISTJ can’t function without his or her to-do list.
- The ENFP is fun loving while the ISTJ doesn’t really know how to relax and play.
- The ENFP likes to be around people while the ISTJ picks his or her friends with caution and generally likes to be alone.
- The ENFP constantly changes plans while the ISTJ makes a plan and sticks to it.
- The ENFP enjoys trying new ways of doing things while the ISTJ sticks to tried-and-true methods.
- ENFPs are very imaginative while ISTJs are down to earth type of people.
- ENFPs typically have commitment issues while ISTJs are very loyal and committed people.
- ENFPs are always young at heart while ISTJs are mature even as children.
Naturally, having such different styles in everything may lead to lots of disagreements. For instance, the ISTJ takes good care of his or her possessions and wants to live in a neat and organized home. ISTJ partners are also typically demanding of their spouses and expect them to do the chores assigned to them and live on a schedule.
ENFPs, however, prioritize comfort over organization, which may sometimes result in a messy home. In addition, they don’t begin to work before they feel inspired to do so. They also want to sleep and wake up whenever they want, they want to eat whenever they feel like and, generally, they want to feel free. The ISTJ’s attempts to control them or blame them for being messy will obviously make them very unhappy.
ISTJs are planners and can’t imagine life without their to-do list, but ENFPs can’t stick to a schedule even if they try. ENFPs are always late, full of apologies and promises to do better in the future. But to ISTJs who value time, being late is a very irresponsible thing to do.
One of the reasons why ENFPs appear so warm and loving is because they are desperate for other people’s love and support. They want to feel loved and appreciated, and in order to get love and appreciation from other people, they give love to everyone around them. They give out strokes to others in hopes to get strokes in return.
But ISTJs aren’t very affectionate or romantic. They aren’t verbally expressive people. Once they commit and proclaim their love, they see no need to repeat themselves. They believe that their partners should just know they are loved and express their feelings by being responsible partners.
ENFPs are great idea generators but they rarely follow through. They end up talking a lot but doing very little. INTJs find this ENFP trait very frustrating because they feel overwhelmed by all the options and ideas that ENFPs throw at them, and there isn’t any tangible result at the end.
ISTJs think that leisure must be earned and that fun activities can only take place after their work is done. ENFPs, however, prioritize fun over work. They often don’t meet their basic responsibilities and procrastinate a lot while pursuing their numerous interests. This, of course, may lead to frequent conflicts between the two partners.
Although ISTJs and ENFPs aren’t exactly compatible, there is no need to give up on each other. To make the relationship work, both ISTJs and ENFPs have to make a conscious effort to understand each other’s needs. ENFPs may want to
- spend more time at home,
- avoid pressuring their ISTJ partners to participate in social activities,
- allow their ISTJ partners to take their time to think before taking a decision,
- become more responsible regarding household chores.
ISTJs may want to
- become more open to new experiences,
- compliment the ENFP’s imagination and creativity,
- avoid criticizing their ENFP partners for all the things they do differently,
- become more flexible in general.
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