ESTP and ESTP
ESTPs and ESTPs make very energetic and active couples. Sharing all four type preferences, they have common needs and goals. Both are likely to enjoy sports and outdoor activities. Both are spontaneous thrill seekers and will enjoy plotting their adventures together. Neither of the two partners tends to overcomplicate things, and the relationship feels just right.
Being in a relationship with someone of your own type means to share the same shortcomings as well. In ESTP & ESTP relationship, neither of the two partners bothers with mundane tasks, such as doing chores or paying bills. Both tend to act without thinking of consequences and neither of the two wants to stick to a budget.
Even in same type relationships, there typically is a more responsible partner who is left to deal with all the unpleasantness alone. This may lead to resentment and disagreements, but on the plus side, ESTPs don’t take things too seriously and don’t allow minor issues ruin their relationships.
ESTP and ISTJ
ESTPs and ISTJs have more differences than commonalities. Yet, people of any personality type may end up together because
- opposites attract
- some people marry very young, without overthinking things
- some people marry for reasons other than natural compatibility
The ISTJ is a very responsible and a very demanding type. They have excellent social skills and may sometimes be mistaken for extraverts.
ESTPs, especially older ESTPs who made up their mind about starting a family, may in fact even prefer the ISTJ personality type because responsible ISTJs can make up for their own shortcomings. In addition, ESTPs dislike emotional intensity and ISTJs’ nonverbal style of affection suits them just right.
Of course with so many differences, there is a lot of potential for conflict:
- ISTJs may sometimes impose their rules on others and become very frustrated when others don’t comply.
- ESTPs’ spontaneity may make ISTJs very uncomfortable.
- ESTPs may find ISTJs too boring and predictable.
- The ISTJ partner wants a neat and organized home while the ESTP partner wants to keep things relaxed and comfortable.
- The ISTJ partner prefers to stick to a budget while the ESTP partner spends impulsively.
Unless ISTJ partners are willing to relax some of their standards, the relationship is unlikely to work out.
ESTP and ENFP
Delightful and enthusiastic ENFPs make great partners for ESTPs. Both are externally oriented and will enjoy spending time together. ENFPs are extremely romantic and tend to overlook shortcomings of their partners; they are also likely to make their partners priority — exactly what ESTPs want.
Generally in ESTP-ENFP relationships, ENFP partners tend to be more innocent, more committed and more available than ESTPs. ENFPs are more likely to be concerned about their partners’ needs and feelings, and they also tend to be people pleasers — almost a foreign concept to ESTPs.
ESTPs enjoy being taken care of by ENFPs and, in most cases, they appreciate ENFPs’ nurturing style. ENFPs, on the other hand, are attracted to ESTPs’ adventurousness and boldness.
ESTP-ENFP couples have a lot going on for them:
- Both partners are friendly, talkative and spontaneous.
- Both have a lot of friends and are likely to have an active social life.
- Both enjoy enticing experiences.
- Both don’t like to plan too far in advance.
- Both have a relaxed attitude to life.
- Neither of the two partners attempts to control the other.
On the negative side, the two partners may have issues in their relationship because
- The ESTP is a very pragmatic down-to-earth type and may not always understand the ENFP’s emotions.
- The ESTP may unintentionally hurt the ENFP’s feelings.
- Instead of dealing with the problem, the ENFP tends to hide his or her hurt feelings and withdraw emotionally.
If you don’t know your personality type, here’s a good test.